


the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

by reachedthebitterend



Category: Roswell New Mexico (TV 2019)
Genre: Angst, Attempted Murder, Blood and Injury, Brainwashing, Explicit Sexual Content, Forced Amnesia, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Rescue Mission, Temporary Character Death, graphic fighting scenes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-06
Updated: 2020-05-06
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24038176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reachedthebitterend/pseuds/reachedthebitterend
Summary: the one where alex gets brainwashed and michael breaks through it
Relationships: Michael Guerin/Alex Manes
Comments: 47
Kudos: 355





	the person that you'd take a bullet for is behind the trigger

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BeStillMySlashyHeart](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeStillMySlashyHeart/gifts).



"Where's Alex?" Kyle asks as soon as he finishes hugging Liz like they've been apart for ten years instead of just two weeks.

Michael, who was sitting next to Liz playing Trivia Crack on her phone, raises an eyebrow at him. "You went on this trip together or is your old age finally catching up to you and you forgot?"

Kyle gives him a truly impressive bitch face, like he's been taking pointers from Alex. 

"I'm just six months older than you and no, he came back like a week ago. Said it was important, so I figured it had to do with you."

Michael shakes his head and feels a low spike of fear in the pit of his stomach, that he quickly smothers.

Kyle frowns, but before he can say anything else, Max and Isobel are walking through the Wild Pony doors talking to each other on low whispers, but Michael can tell from the way that Max is rolling his eyes that Isobel is probably still trying to convince him to agree to a big birthday bash.

Isobel pulls Kyle into the argument, and Kyle very promptly takes the opposing side because it seems like he likes to rile Isobel up.

Michael makes a face at them.

Max walks past to them patting Kyle's shoulder in welcome, and sitting down on Michael's other side and answering the question since Michael had forgotten that he was playing.

Michael hands Liz's phone over and pulls his own out of his pocket.

He quickly pulls up Alex's information and sends him a text, _Where are you???_

He sees the message get marked as read, but there's no answer. He frowns and moves to type a new message when Liz plucks the phone out of his hands.

He looks at his empty hands in confusion for a second before he glares up at Liz, "You've been playing games on your phone most of the night. Max and Isobel are here, and you promised me a game!"

She smiles widely at him, and Michael just sighs in exaggeration, figuring that if Alex is reading his messages, he should be fine.

"Fine," he says and Liz gets to her feet, not waiting for him as she starts to make her way across the mostly empty bar.

There are a few stragglers at the bar that Maria is giving their last round to, but they mostly have the place to themselves.

“That eager to get your ass kicked!” Michael comments as he follows after her.

Liz turns to him, scoffing, opening her mouth to speak when there is a sharp whistle through the air, and she’s inhaling sharply, hand coming up to slap the side of her neck.

She makes a confused face at Michael, who looks around the room like he’ll find something out of place, and then back at Liz, who takes her hand down from her neck, and they both look down to see she’s holding a dart in her hand, silver and small, that looks like it came from a tranquilizer gun.

She looks up at Michael with a furrowed brow, and then her face goes slack and her eyes roll to the back of her head, and she slumps forward, passing out.

Michael catches her before she hits the ground, and slowly lowers her to the ground.

“Liz!” Max yells and then there is the sound of footsteps stopping right in by them.

Michael looks up at Max who takes Liz from his arms.

“What happened?” 

Michael opens his mouth to say that he’s pretty sure that she was just tranquilized when Kyle pushes him backwards and out of the way to get at her.

Michael gets to his feet, and looks over to where Maria is standing right by the bar, a rag in her hand looking over at them with a worried expression, moving like she’s going to walk over there, when there is another sharp whistle, and she flinches, lifting a hand to her neck.

Michael moves to catch her before she hits the floor, but then the whistling sound goes of again and Michael moves backwards as it hits the three people still sitting at the bar, one right after the other, who collapse much faster than Liz or Maria did, and then the couple playing pool collapse on to the ground, and Michael looks back down to see Isobel looking around the room in confusion.

“What the fuck is going on?” she says, and then she pulls Kyle forward so that he’s leaning over Liz’s body instead of just kneeled next to her, and Michael turns as he hears the dart imbedding with a thunk against the bar.

He follows the trajectory, and swears he sees a shadow at the window but when he blinks it’s gone.

“I think we should-”

The door opens with a creak, interrupting him, and they all turn towards it.

Michael barely has time to do much more than duck when there is a canister being thrown in the room landing on the floor with a clatter, where it immediately starts to smoke, filling the air with a dense slightly yellow smoke that is very familiar.

“Fuck,” Michael and Max say at the same time.

“What?” Isobel says, mouth muffled as she covers her face with the sleeve of her shirt.

“That’s not going to help,” Michael starts to say, and then he’s stumbling to his knees, and hitting the ground as the world goes black.

-

Michael doesn’t really know what he expects when he regains consciousness, but it’s not to find himself staring at the ceiling of the Wild Pony.

He takes a second to figure out exactly what led him to this position, and once he remembers what happened, he sits up and looks around the room.

He spots Liz and then Kyle using her stomach as a pillow, a silver tranq dart still stuck to his neck. Max and Isobel are both moving like they’re about to regain consciousness, and the entire bar is covered in yellow powder.

“What the fuck?” Isobel groans out, pushing herself to sitting position and shaking her heavy head.

“It’s the power stripping dust,” Michael responds as he pushes himself up to his feet, and turns to help her up.

Max groans and gets to his feet slowly, reaching out for Michael to catch himself as he stumbles a little.

“What the fuck?” Isobel asks again, cursing again, which surprises Michael a little, but she usually curses a lot when she’s feeling scared or stressed. “I’m going to fucking murder whoever is behind this.”

“Well you can certainly try,” Alex’s voice makes them all jump and turn towards the bar, where he is sitting down on top of the bar, dressed up in all black tactical gear, a bored look on his face, and a tranq rifle lying across his lap. “But I doubt you could do it.”

He looks around the room, obviously as though he’s pointing out the layer of yellow dust.

“You did this?” Max asks, sounding confused, but not entirely surprised.

Alex gives him a look like that should be obvious, and then he’s pushing off the bar and to his feet, holding the rifle in his hands loosely. 

“Now, we could do this the easy way and you all could just form a single line and follow me. Or we could do it the hard way, I was told to bring the three of you in, but they never said it had to be alive.”

“Alex,” Michael says, and Alex’s gaze goes to him and he furrows his brow a little looking confused, lips parted slightly.

But before he can say anything, Isobel is moving to stand in front of him, pushing him back towards Max.

“Oh, I wouldn’t get too cocky yet,” she says, tilting her head at him. “I don’t need my powers to kick your ass.”

“Iz,” Michael hisses, but Isobel barely spares him a glance.

Alex grins, something dark and vicious, and unlike anything that Michael has ever seen on his face. “Oh, I was so hoping you would choose the hard way.”

“Alex,” Michael snaps, because this is really something that seems to have been taken out of Michael’s worst nightmare.

Alex turns to him again this time more pissed off than confused, “Who the hell is Alex?”

Yeah, Michael thinks faintly, definitely a nightmare.

Isobel uses Alex’s distraction to attack, leading with a punch immediately.

Alex ducks and uses the rifle in his hands to block the next punch and then he cracks the butt of the rifle across Isobel’s face, catching her right on the jaw and sending her flying backwards.

Michael feels like he’s rooted to the spot.

This has to be a nightmare, and he’s going to wake up any minute now.

Isobel grunts as she lands on the floor, and spits out a mouthful of blood.

Max practically growls as he moves and runs past Michael to get to Alex.

Alex holds the rifle up as a barrier, and Max grabs onto it, pushing him backwards against the bar.

Alex pushes Max back hard, holding on tight to the rifle and then letting it go, making Max stumble backwards a few steps before he’s pushing himself up on the bar and then somersaults backwards to the other side.

Max throws the rifle aside and moves to jump over the bar when Alex pops back up and pushes a taser right against Max’s leg making him yell out in pain before he’s knocking his elbow hard into Max’s chest making him topple backwards off the bar.

Michael sees Isobel dropping beside him making sure that he’s okay, and when he looks up, Alex is staring right at him.

“Are you just going to stand there looking pretty or are you going to make this a more even fight?” he taunts.

Max and Isobel stand up, and move backwards towards Michael, and Alex just laughs, a sharp sound, before he’s jumping over the bar again.

“I’m a trained military professional,” he says. “Some kickboxing classes and a subpar police academy training aren’t going to be enough to stop me. So think very carefully before you make your next move.”

Max and Isobel turn towards each other briefly, before she nods her head once and turns back to face Alex.

Max pushes Michael towards her, finally snapping him out of the strange daze he’s in, and Michael looks up at him and he can see that there is blood in the corner of his mouth, and he feels a spike of rage, and then fear when he actively realizes that Alex is the one who did that, who hurt him enough to bleed.

He clenches his fists, and he feels his nails biting into the skin of his palm, telling him that this wasn’t just happening in his head, but what else could be happening?

“Keep him busy,” Max says pointedly, before he moves fast towards the door.

“Where do you think-?” Alex starts, and Michael looks back to him and he looks like he’s going to go after him, but Isobel steps neatly in his way, and he stops short, giving Isobel a look like he knows exactly what she’s doing.

“You caught me off guard, but that’s not happening again,” Isobel says, and gets into fighting position, holding her fists up in front of her, and widening her stance.

“Alright, Princess,” he answers. “Let’s dance.”

Michael clenches his fists, and he moves so that he’s standing right next to Isobel, blocking the way to the door, and Alex doesn’t even look surprised. 

He just moves backwards a little so that he can keep his eye on them both.

“Finally decided to join the fun, I see,” Alex says.

“You don’t have to do this,” he says, moving closer.

Alex gives him a highly amused look, “Funny how you think there’s any other choice.”

“Alex,” he starts, and Alex just huffs out a breath in exasperation.

“Stop calling me that,” he says.

“Then what do we call you?” Isobel asks, moving so that she’s at Michael’s side.

“You don’t have to call me anything,” Alex responds. “You’re not going to live long enough to need to.”

Isobel stutters out an involuntary laugh. “Awfully full of yourself aren’t you?”

“Why do you want to kill us?” Michael asks, not understanding any of this, and really not liking it.

Isobel may be ready to fight at the drop of a hat, and Max doesn’t really trust Alex anyway, but Michael _knows_ Alex and even if he didn’t remember who he is, he isn’t _this_.

Alex laughs again in disbelief, and Michael can’t believe that this is the most that he’s heard him laugh in years and it’s all mocking and at their expense.

He stops when he sees their faces and raises an eyebrow skeptically.

“You’re aliens,” he says, making a face and saying the word like a curse. “Do I really need a reason?”

Michael shakes his head a little. “That’s the kind of ideology your daddy assigns to, not you.”

At the mention of his dad, Alex straightens up standing at attention, hands behind his back and all amusement drops from his face.

“What would you know about my father?” he questions, turning fully to face Michael.

“I know much more than you think that I do,” Michael responds, taking a step forward. “I know much more about _you_ than you think that I do.”

Alex tilts his head at that, eyes narrowing, and then Isobel is darting forward.

She swings forward, telegraphing the punch too much, and Alex ducks, but she switches positions quickly like she knew that he was going to do that and grabs onto the back of his head and hits him with her knee right against his jaw, sending him falling backwards.

Alex grunts low in the back of his throat as he lands on the ground.

Isobel moves to climb on top of him, but Alex swings his legs around in a fancy move that sweeps Isobel off her feet.

Alex gets to his feet and throws something at Michael who catches it like an idiot instead of ducking away.

It’s a small metal ball with interlocking parts and the second that it hits Michael’s hand it sends an electric shock through him, making him drop to his knees.

He lets the ball go, but the stinging, burning sensation travels up his arms and forces him to hunch over groaning in pain.

“Michael!” Isobel calls out sounding alarmed before she yelps, and then curses, and Michael can hear Isobel running at Alex to attack.

He breathes deeply and pushes the pain down, gasping weakly, trying to say something but he can barely manage to groan out an, “I’m okay.”

The pain recedes and Michael inhales deeply before he pushes himself up to his feet.

There is a low grunt and then Isobel hissing in pain, and then there is a low popping sound and then she gives a sharp shout.

Michael turns towards them to see that Alex has Isobel bent awkwardly over the table, her face against the glossy wood, her right arm pulled behind her back at a painful angle that probably dislocated her shoulder.

“Had enough yet?” Alex asks conversationally, not even sounding out of breath, like it’s taking no effort to keep Isobel like that.

“I like it rough,” Isobel gasps out. “I’m not even in the remote vicinity of enough.”

Alex leans his weight against her even harder and Isobel makes a low pained sound, almost like a whine at the back of her throat, and Michael is moving.

He runs, bending low, and catches Alex with one arm right on the curve of his waist and tackles him backwards to the floor, where they land and slide a little, knocking over the stools at the bar.

Michael wastes no time, trying to pin him down, but Alex is hooking his ankles behind Michael’s knees and turning them around so that he’s on top of Michael.

He punches Michael in the face with the heel of his hand getting him right on the nose making his head snap back and stars explode across the back of Michael’s eyelids as he tastes blood in his mouth.

Before he can even try to breathe in, Alex scrambles forward, and then there are hands wrapped around his throat, thumbs crossed right below his Adam's apple pushing down with the intent to make him pass out.

Michael’s eyes flutter open and he’s looking right into Alex’s eyes, dark and full of a righteous sort of anger, and it makes his chest go even tighter. Alex has never looked at him like that before.

“Alex,” he tries to say.

Alex’s eyes go wide, and his brow furrows a little before he’s moving backwards, scrambling off Michael almost like he’d been electrocuted.

Michael gulps deep breathes of air, and Alex says, “What the fuck?” in a really confused voice, before Isobel is yelling and there is the sound of running.

Michael leans up in time to see Isobel try to push Alex back on to the floor, but he braces his feet against her chest and flips her over on her back, behind him.

He scrambles up to his feet and runs over to the pool tables.

Isobel is already on her feet and chasing after him. She jumps on his back, sending him crashing into one of the tables.

He pushes himself backwards, driving them towards the wall, and Isobel grunts in pain before she wraps her arm around Alex's neck, putting him in a chokehold.

Michael watches as Alex inhales deeply and then he’s leaning forward hard, throwing Isobel off his back and onto the floor.

Isobel lands with a grunt on her back, and takes a moment to get to her feet.

Alex goes on the offensive immediately, not giving her an inch of space to defend herself. He drives her backwards towards the pool tables again and when he lunges forward, she twirls, moving to the side, and Alex lands on the table, and uses it as leverage to push himself backwards.

Michael sees that he has a pool ball in his hand.

Isobel doesn’t see it coming.

He hits her right on the side of the head, and Isobel crumbles to the floor, unconscious.

Michael gets to his feet and makes to rush over to her when a flash of lighting lights up the night sky, illuminating the bar.

He looks out of the window, but before he can make out anything, Alex’s arm catches him right around the chest as he propels them forward and they go crashing through the open door.

They land on their sides on the rough gravel and Alex gets to his feet immediately pulling his gun out of his holster and starts shooting at Max without warning.

Max powered up, dodges the bullets, before he’s holding his hands out and shooting lighting right at Alex.

Michael moves without even thinking about it.

He tackles Alex to the floor once again, and manages to knock the gun out of his hands.

Alex looks at him, brow furrowed, eyes incredulous. “Why the hell did you do that?”

Michael stares down at Alex who looks at him not only like he’s a stranger, but like he’s nothing but a problem that Alex has to take care of.

“I would never let anyone hurt you,” Mihcael says without really meaning to.

Alex’s eyebrows very nearly fly off his face. “Wow, I almost actually believed that.”

Michael furrows his brow, and he hears Max calling his name, but his attention is riveted on Alex, who just snorts with a highly amused look on his face as he catches the look in Michael’s eye.

“You actually expect me to believe that you care about me? I don’t even know who you are, and even if I did, you’re an alien. Aliens don’t feel those kinds of emotions. You can’t fool me with your lackluster mimicry.”

“What happened to you?” Michael can’t help but ask.

Alex laughs derisively, “I woke up.”

Without much more warning, Alex punches Michael in the face again, catching him on his already tender nose, and the pain explodes across his head in waves.

He groans and doesn’t fight back when Alex pushes him to the side and off him.

He hears Alex get to his feet and then hears the crackle of the lightning, and feels the ground shaking, but Alex just curses and when Michael turns to look it’s to see that he rolled out of the way of the lightning strike.

“Don’t kill him!” Michael yells out, voice coming out thick. “He’s still Alex!”

Max makes a low noise, part annoyance part recognition, but the static energy building in the air dissipates.

“I don’t need you to help me,” Alex tells Michael, sounding a little pissed, but mostly amused. "But it's cute that you're trying."

Max uses the fact that Alex is turned towards Michael to attack, pushing him back towards a parked car.

Alex lands against the passenger’s side door of someone’s car, and then he ducks as Max swings forward, punching the window instead.

Max grunts in pain and then Alex knees him right in the stomach, pushing him backwards to get out from where he’s pinned and then turns right around and pushes Max back, slamming the palm of his hand right into Max’s nose.

Max’s head goes snapping back, blood spurting out of his nose, and then Alex is punching him hard in the chest, and he gasps, leaning forward. Alex wraps his hands around the back of Max’s neck and slams his face into his knee.

Max falls to the floor with a groan as Alex moves backwards, letting him go, and moving from foot to foot.

Michael finds himself up to his feet, and he sees Max attempting to stand up, and Alex getting ready to probably kick him in the face and put him out of commission for the rest of the week.

He moves again without even really thinking about it, and reaches forward and grabs Alex’s arms, fingers wrapping tightly above his elbows and then uses his hold on him to drag him away from Max.

Alex immediately tugs hard against Michael’s hold, but Michael just holds on to him tighter.

He manages to drag him a few feet away, before Alex stops fighting him so suddenly that they both pitch forward. Alex uses the momentum to drop himself to the floor and then breaks out of Michael’s hold, flipping Michael over his back to the floor and then moving backwards.

Michael gets to his feet and Alex follows him with almost mirror-like precision.

They stand facing each other, and Alex licks across his bottom lip, and despite the very serious, and potentially dangerous situation, Michael feels a spike of heat low in his belly.

Michael can hear Max groaning as he tries to get back up to his feet, and sees Alex’s gaze drop to him.

And Michael moves so that he’s standing directly in the way, and getting all of Alex’s attention.

“Finally,” he says, and Michael furrows his brow. “I was beginning to think that you were never going to drop the act.”

“Just because I don’t want to hurt you, doesn’t mean I’ll just let you hurt them,” Michael says, and Alex just rolls his eyes.

“Fine, but I’m not going easy on you just because you have no experience,” Alex says, and starts basically jumping from foot to foot like he’s testing his prosthetic. It’s a move that Michael knows he does when he’s overextended himself, and he’s not surprised. Alex’s leg must be killing him, but of course he’s acting like nothing is wrong.

“I’m not going to fight you, Alex,” Michael says.

Alex makes a low sound at the back of his throat, sounding almost like a growl. “Stop calling me that!”

Before Michael can ask why, the sound of sirens starts to fill the air.

Michael looks around and sees that there are two police cars making their way up to the back of the Pony, their flashing lights illuminating everything in blues and reds.

He turns back to Alex, but there is no one there.

-

Michael lies back with a bag of ice numbing his incredibly hot and smarting face, while he listens to everyone else bicker about how they’re going to fix the problem.

He knows that most of it is them being scared that one of their own is trying to hunt them down, but some of it is them being pissed that he not only managed to take them off guard, but also almost managed to put all of them under, without any help.

Michael can see the pride hit with Isobel and Max and even Maria who is mostly pissed about the damage to her bar.

Kyle sounds mostly worried, and so does Liz, but unlike him she seems more concerned with Max than with Alex.

“How are we even sure it’s brainwashing, anyway?” Maria says. “He’s been spending too much time with his dad, lately. Maybe he finally got him to see things his way.”

Before Michael can lift the bag off his head and explain everything wrong with that statement Isobel speaks up.

“I’ll admit that I’m the first one who will say we should go kick his ass, but he didn’t even remember his own name. I don’t think it’s as simple as him following orders.”

“It’s not,” Cameron’s voice pipes up, surprising everyone.

Michael lifts the bag off his face, and squints a little at the brightness in the room before he can make her out standing at attention in front of the open balcony doors, holding a red Project Shepherd folder in her hands.

It’s times like these that Michael vividly remembers that Jenna is a soldier, just like Alex.

“What are you doing here?” Max asks at the same time that Liz says, “I thought you were in California.”

“Valenti called me,” she says. “But I was already on my way. I got a funny visit from the wrong Manes brother three days ago. And he talked around in circles, and didn’t really say much of anything, but he did leave me this.”

She waves the folder in the air, and then pauses, and Michael wonders if she’s going to tell the whole story like this.

She just tilts her head to the side and then walks further into the room and hands the folder to Max, who had held his hand out for it.

Her eyes take them all in, while Liz and Kyle lean in on either side of Max and read the information with him, from where Michael is perched, lying back on the long couch, his feet kicked up on one arm, the bag of ice dripping on the floor as he looks back at her steadily.

She hadn’t winced at the bruises on Max’s face, but she frowns when she sees that one of Isobel’s arms is in a sling, and the bruises on the side of her face.

The three of them look like they were in a brawl, but with the accelerated healing provided by the acetone, it only looked as bad as it did because the fight was just barely ten hours ago.

She shakes her head. “I didn’t actually want to believe it.”

“What exactly is Project New Life?” Liz asks, looking away from the files to look up at Cameron.

Michael moves and sits up so that he’s not lying on his back, and Isobel moves from where she’d been sitting to sit on his side, wrapping her good arm around his, and then urging the ice back on his face.

“Project New Life was a reeducation program created to help soldiers deal with PTSD,” she starts. “Or at least that’s what it says on paper. What they were doing is something much more sinister. They pick soldiers who are good at their jobs, but have been mentally incapacitated and they put them through the program to rehabilitate them and send them back into active duty.”

Michael hears her stop speaking and inhale deeply, and then Max is talking. “The program brainwashes them.”

“Is it really brainwashing if all it does is remove the source of the trauma?” Cameron responds, and Michael has to look at her.

He takes the bag of ice off his face.

“What does that mean?” Michael asks.

“There’s a serum, an experimental drug whose purpose is to isolate the parts of the memory cortex that are informing the trauma responses and cut them off from the rest of the brain so there’s no access.”

She sounds like she’s quoting out of a book, and when Liz makes a curious noise, she motions towards the files that Liz takes out of Max’s slack grip.

“So like a form of chemical amnesia?” Michael questions, ignoring the way that Maria turns to him like she hadn’t been following what Cameron was saying, and is surprised that he understood it.

“Yes,” Cameron says, looking at him. “Theoretically speaking, enough of the drug could wipe an entire slate clean, but it’s dangerous in large quantities. It could completely chemically lobotomize someone.”

“Yeah, pretty sure Jesse Manes wouldn’t care about the danger if it gets him either of the results that he wanted,” Michael says, and he gets up to his feet with no difficulty, unlike both Max and Isobel who have strained ribs.

“Yes,” Cameron says, agreeing, turning fully to face Michael.

Michael sees Maria sitting down in his vacated spot, and notices Max and Kyle looking at the folder over Liz’s shoulder.

“That along with a classified program called the Shepherd Protocol,” she tells him, and makes a grim face when he flinches. “Which is basically anti-alien propaganda, would be enough to turn even the best of us into our worst enemy.”

Michael breathes in deeply and tries to contain his anger, but he can just imagine, Alex coming home early because he got a message from one of them, from _Michael_ and walking into a trap, and he can clearly imagine Jesse Manes strapping his son down and injecting him with experimental drugs, and forcing him to watch hours of footage that would make him think that aliens are the enemy and therefore a threat.

Michael makes a low frustrated sound and turns away from everyone, kicking at the air in frustration and sending a wave that pushes and rattles things in the kitchen, making everyone else jump.

“Don’t break my kitchen,” Max complains weakly.

He turns back to face them, but looks at Liz who looks up at him at the same time with a grim look on her face.

"How do we fix it?" He asks her.

"We can't," Liz says, sounding apologetic. "The scans they've done on others who have gone through the Project New Life program, shows that it's irreversible and that was in small quantities. If Alex has total retrograde amnesia, and it was caused by this drug, there is nothing that we can do to fix it."

She closes the file, like that's that, and he frowns and looks around the room to see that they all look resigned to the option, which is hilarious in a way that isn’t funny at all.

"So our only option is just to let him kill us?" He asks, sounding incredulous.

There is a hesitant silence, like several people want to respond but are afraid of how he'll react, and Michael doesn't have to think too hard about what they could possibly not be saying.

"No," he says before anyone can speak.

"It's not just your life on the line," Isobel snaps standing up. "This is a decision we have to make together. And majority vote rules."

Michael looks from her to Max and shakes his head, laughing incredulously and sharp, "Of course. It's _just_ Alex. Who will actually care if he dies?"

"Hey," both Maria and Kyle say at the same time, protesting the words.

Michael ignores them and looks to Max. "If you even think about making it an actual option, I don't care what I promised you, I'm leaving."

Max opens his mouth and Michael just shakes his head. "What if it was Liz?"

Max breaks eye contact.

Michael turns to Isobel, who gives him a look like she can handle anything he throws at her.

"You asked me once if there wasn't someone I would risk everything to save, well this is it, choose something else. We are not killing Alex."

"Not like you actually could," Alex's voice pipes up, and everyone turns to see him standing in the middle of the balcony, still wearing the same clothes, a bruise painting the underside of his chin from Isobel's knee, but otherwise looking unharmed, and unarmed. "But it has been fun seeing you try.”

He takes a step closer and everyone moves almost like they’d planned it.

Cameron hides further out of sight, and Michael moves closer to Isobel who steps towards Max who moves back towards them. Maria, Liz and Kyle move to stand in front of Alex, and it would be funny, if the situation wasn’t so dire.

“Alex you don’t have to do this,” Kyle says, and Alex gives him the same confused look he gave Michael in the bar.

“We’ve been friends all of our lives,” Maria says, stepping closer to him, and Alex’s gaze snaps to her, and the confusion is clear. “You care about us. You don’t want to hurt us.”

She moves forward reaching out to place a hand on his arm, and there is a lyrical quality to the words, and Michael sees the second that Alex realizes what she’s trying to do.

He laughs, something derisive, yet full of amusement.

“Nice try, but I don’t know who you are, and if you’re trying to get in my head, good luck.”

Maria frowns, letting her hand drop.

“Now,” he continues. “If you’re done trying to get me to sing kumbaya, I have a job to do.”

“If you want to get to them, you’re going to have to go through us,” Liz says, stepping forward so that she’s even with Maria, looking at Alex defiantly.

Alex looks over her head and his gaze barely brushes over Michael as he looks to Isobel and then Max.

Michael can feel that Max wants to step forward, but Isobel is keeping him close to her side. He moves so that he’s standing slightly in front of them, and Alex snorts in amusement.

He looks back to Liz, and lifts an eyebrow, before he tilts his head at her, narrowing his eyes and then sweeps his gaze to Maria and then Kyle.

“Have any of you done brain scans recently?” he asks almost conversationally, but doesn’t wait for an answer before he continues. “Project Shepherd has done extensive research on human brains and the effect of being constantly doused in alien pheromones.”

“What?” Liz demands after a few seconds of silence.

“All aliens exude pheromones at all times. There is never a moment when you’ve been in a room with any one of the three of them that you weren’t constantly bombarded with it, and in small doses it impairs judgement and decision making skills, especially when it has anything to do with hurting any one of them. With prolonged contact it basically turns you into a slave, where you would do anything to protect them, even put your own life in danger.”

Maria scoffs, “That’s insane. There is no way-”

Kyle talks over her, “Did your dad tell you that, because I wouldn’t trust anything that he-”

Liz talks over the both of them, “I had an MRI right after Max saved my life and it showed no changes-”

“You’re the insane ones,” Alex says louder than all of them. “No, I didn’t get the information from my dad. I’ve read through all of the Project Shepherd files. And I said prolonged contact. Go get an MRI done now and tell me there are no differences in your frontal and temporal lobes. But you won’t be able to, because that would be lying.”

Michael can see that they’re all puffing up to argue with him, but Alex just snorts, shaking his head. “I mean, you can keep arguing about it, or you can ask the resident aliens frozen in the middle of the living room.”

Everyone turns back to face Isobel, Max and Michael, and Michael wishes that he could move or something, but he can’t.

He’s looking at Alex, and Alex looks back at him, an almost satisfied look on his face.

“Is he telling the truth?” Maria asks, and he can feel that she’s looking at him, but Michael can’t make himself look away from Alex.

“No,” Max answers immediately, and Michael closes his eyes, because he can hear the hesitant tone to his voice.

“We don’t know,” Isobel responds. “How would we know? But more to the point, why should we believe anything that he says? He’s obviously brainwashed.”

Alex snickers at that, and then giggles, like he’s actually amused, everyone turns to face him. “ _I’m_ the brainwashed one when _you’re_ protecting the enemy.”

“They’re not the enemy,” Liz says firmly.

Alex raises both his eyebrows at her, “Oh so they invaded and tried to slaughter the people who found them because they’re really, really nice?”

“It wasn’t an invasion,” Michael snaps, and Alex’s gaze goes to him. “We were seeking refuge somewhere else and a stowaway made us crash here.”

“Is that what your parents told you?” Alex asks, looking like he knows exactly how those words will affect Michael.

Michael’s fists clench to his sides and he can feel the anger simmering in the pit of his stomach. 

“No,” he answers. “My parents never got to tell me anything before they were captured by your great-grandfather.”

Alex just shrugs a little, seemingly bored.

“ _You_ were the one who let me know,” he tells him, which makes Alex look back at him, brow furrowed, confusion marring his eyes.

“Why would I do something like that?” he asks like he’s humoring Michael’s delusions.

“Because you were trying to help me figure out what happened to my mother.”

Alex almost flinches back at that, blinking his eyes briefly, before he shakes his head.

He looks back up at Michael, mouth open to speak, but then he closes his mouth, and tilts his head to the side.

And then he’s ducking to the side, and Cameron is jumping off the porch railing, somersaulting and landing in a crouch right where Alex had been standing.

Michael hadn’t even noticed that Cameron had left the house to sneak up on Alex.

She stands up, and turns so that her back is to them, but she’s standing right in front of Alex, who leans back against the railing, casually.

He grins when Cameron gets to her feet. “I was wondering when you would make your appearance, Deputy Cameron. My brother isn’t that good at cleaning up after himself.”

“Well here I am,” she says, lifting her hands on either side. “Is it everything that you ever hoped for?”

“And more,” Alex responds, grinning sharp and wide. “It means I don’t have to hold back.”

And then he’s attacking.

Cameron blocks his punch with her arms pushing him backwards, and he turns with the motion, moving to hit her with his elbow, but she ducks and then punches him hard right on his right thigh, sending him down to his knees with a hiss, and then she’s standing pushing one hand into his hair to hold his head down and swinging one leg over Alex’s shoulder. 

Alex moves to wrap a hand around her thigh, fingers digging in, but Cameron ignores that, and grabs his other hand as he blindly reaches up to punch her, but she grabs that hand with both of hers, fingers wrapping tightly around his wrist, and when he makes to stand, she hooks her ankles together right beneath Alex’s armpit and tips them down to the floor.

Alex struggles, but Cameron tightens her thighs around his neck and holds his arm tightly against her chest, fingers barely scratching beneath her throat, and then she twists, and Alex goes limp.

Michael steps forward immediately, but Kyle is there as Cameron disentangles herself from Alex’s limp form, checking him over.

“He’s still breathing,” he says relieved.

“I wasn’t planning on killing him,” she says as she rubs the spot on her thigh where Alex had dug his fingers in. “But you might want to tie him up before he wakes back up.”

Michael can’t even feel relief.

Max and Kyle get Alex into a chair and all tied up as Michael just stares at him, not even moving to help when Isobel gives him a pointed look.

There’s just something so wrong about seeing Alex passed out and tied up, a feeling that sits right at the back of his throat making him feel like he’s going to be sick.

Everyone talks in low voices that echo in his head, and he has to swallow hard a few times, and shake his head a little to snap out of the daze he’s in.

It takes him a second to realize that Isobel is planning to go into Alex’s head while he’s unconscious.

“I don’t like this,” Michael says, and looks to Isobel, who just rolls her eyes, but drags another one of Max’s kitchen chairs over and slides it over right in front of Alex, settling herself down. Max and Kyle are still standing on either side of Alex, and Kyle looks like he agrees with Michael, but doesn’t do anything to stop her.

Maria and Liz are both standing right at the entrance to the kitchen, and Cameron is sitting on top of the counter, her legs dangling down, eyes intently on Alex.

“It’ll work better if he’s not fighting me,” Isobel says. “And I just want to check and see if there is anything left in there to save.”

Michael just shakes his head, and turns away from her as she places her hands on either side of Alex’s head.

He knows that Alex is in there somewhere, if he wasn’t the things that they said wouldn’t make him feel confused, or flinch away.

Michael can still feel the ache of Alex’s hands around his throat, and he knows that Alex could’ve killed him easily, but something had stopped him.

But he’s pretty sure that telling them that Alex isn’t gone because he can feel it isn’t actually going to fly.

Michael turns the second that Alex starts to whine low in the back of his throat, and then Isobel makes a pained noise.

He sees Alex’s eyes snap open, “Get out of my head!”

Michael sees Isobel get pushed out of Alex’s head almost like he’d physically pushed her, Kyle’s quick thinking the only thing that stops her chair from falling backwards.

Max had also stepped forward and is telling Isobel to look at him, while she seems to look like she’s about to pass out.

Alex tests the binds tying him to the chair, around his wrists and around his ankles, making the chair rock alarmingly.

Isobel tells Max that she’s fine, sounding a little out of breath, so Kyle goes and stops Alex from falling backwards.

Alex grits his teeth at him, and when Kyle leans in a little closer, probably to use his best Doctor Valenti voice, Alex spits in his face.

Kyle just inhales deeply and turns around, heading towards one of the bathrooms.

“What did you see?” Max is asking Isobel as she gets her erratic breathing under control.

“Nothing,” she says. “It’s like there’s a thick fog inside of his brain and the deeper I got the denser the fog got. And I couldn't see anything. There’s _nothing_.”

Max looks from Isobel to Michael, mouth open to speak.

“No,” Michael says again. “He’s still in there. I can _feel_ it.”

“This isn’t only your choice,” Maria and Isobel say at the same time, and Michael’s gaze turns from Isobel to Maria, who had moved from Liz’s side and is standing closer to Michael than he had expected.

“This concerns all of us,” she continues. “You were attacked in my bar. He tranq’ed all of us. He came here determined to get to you all even if he had to go through us. And it’s more than obvious that he’s not going to stop unless we do something about it.”

She takes a step closer to him, and reaches out with one hand, settling it on his arm. “You know that I love him. We all do. But that’s not Alex anymore.”

Michael stares at her for a long moment before he takes a step away from her, leaving her hand hovering in thin air for a second before she drops it to her side.

She looks sad, and like she wishes there was another option, but she’s resigned. And when Michael sweeps his gaze across the room, it’s to see that they all are.

Michael scoffs and shakes his head and then looks to Alex who is looking right at him, like he wants to know why Michael is the rock stopping the flow of the river.

“Caulfield,” he says, and Alex’s brow furrows. “I wouldn’t leave because my mom was in one of those cages, and I yelled at you that they were my family, and you told me that I was yours, and you refused to leave even if it meant dying with me, and I tried so hard to push you to go that I told you that-”

“I don’t love you,” Alex answers in a voice that sounds like it’s coming from far away, and then he’s hissing and shutting his eyes tightly, and shaking his head sharply once, before he opens his eyes again, glaring at Michael.

“What the fuck did you just do to me?”

Michael ignores him to turn back to Maria who is frowning, more upset than sad. “He’s still in there, and _I’m_ not going to give up on him.”

He turns back to Max and Isobel who are both watching Michael with matching expressions of concern. “We’re not killing him. Choose something else.”

He moves and sits back down on the couch feeling like he’s been awake for a week. He leans his head back and closes his eyes.

He hears Max and Isobel arguing in whispers, joined by Liz and Maria, but most of his attention is caught by the way that he can still feel Alex’s eyes on him.

He hears Kyle come back out of the kitchen, and go back over to Alex to ask him how he’s feeling, and all sorts of questions Kyle got used to asking after any mission where Alex has to physically fight.

“I’m as healthy as a fucking spring chicken, Valenti,” Alex snaps. “Would be better if you took off the restraints, but I doubt it’s as easy as asking for it.”

“Then you can answer some questions,” Max asks, and Michael finally opens his eyes and leans his head up a little to see that he and Cameron are now standing in front of Alex, looking like they’re getting ready to do some good cop bad cop bullshit.

“I’m not answering anything,” he says looking up at Max, but somehow managing to look down at him. “You have no jurisdiction over me, and even if you did, you’re not a cop anymore.”

“You’re trying to hurt my family, that’s all the jurisdiction that I need,” Max replies, and Alex just snorts.

“Okay,” he says mockingly, rolling his eyes.

“You say we’re the enemy,” Max starts speaking. “But we haven’t done anything that justifies that label.”

Alex scoffs, rolling his eyes again. “The over twenty murders that Project Shepherd had to cover up in Roswell for the last fifteen years begs to differ.”

“That wasn’t us,” Isobel snaps. “That was another alien who was running around messing up our lives.”

Alex gives her a disbelieving look, and turns his gaze back to Max and Cameron, who turn to look at each other, and have a silent exchange before they turn back to Alex.

Cameron steps forward, and pulls the folder that she had pinched under her arm.

“What do you know about Project New Life?”

Alex gives her a highly amused look. “You mean that disbanded project from the fifties that my brother left for you to make your own conclusions about? I know all about it. But if you think it’s as easy as showing me a few pictures and redacted files and telling me that my dad did this to me, then you’re not as smart as you look.”

Michael can’t see Cameron’s face, but he can feel the eyeroll that she gives. “What do you know about the Shepherd Protocol?”

“As much as you,” he tells her. “Seeing as you were a part of Project Shepherd as well, and it’s part of the basic information package when you transfer into the unit.”

“Don’t you want our help?” Max asks, and Cameron takes a step backward, tapping the file against her leg.

“Your help with what, exactly?” Alex asks him, tilting his head at Max.

“I know you don’t remember this, but we’re your friends, Alex, your _family_ , and all we want is things to go back to normal. Let us help you!”

Both of Alex’s eyebrows are almost at his hairline, and he stutters out a disbelieving laugh, shaking his head.

“I don’t need your help because there is nothing wrong with me,” Alex tells him. "I don't know who you are. I'm not your friend, and I'm definitely not your family. You definitely don't have your parasitic hooks in my brain and you can't get in my head to make me believe a word that you're saying, so stop trying. You're just embarrassing yourself."

Max just turns around and gives Michael a look, like he's trying his best and Alex is being difficult on purpose, which he is.

Michael doesn't really know what to tell him, but he's distracted by the wording of what Alex said.

"What do you mean, 'parasitic hooks?'" Liz asks the same question that Michael wants to know the answer to.

Alex turns to her and just winks before he turns back towards Max, raising a pointed eyebrow.

"Does it have to do with the pheromones, you mentioned?" She pushes, and Alex just smiles, and shrugs.

Michael leans forward and Alex's gaze snaps to him, and he seems to regard Michael for a second, eyes dragging down his body and back up in a way that if Michael hadn't known any better, he'd swear was a come on.

Max steps forward then, "Just answer the-"

“Okay," Alex says, gaze moving from Michael to Liz. "I’ll answer one question."

"And then I want to talk to Michael," he continues, gaze going back to Michael. "Alone.”

There is a perfect second of silence and then everyone speaks at once. 

"Deal," both Liz and Michael say.

"No way," everyone else basically shouts in unison.

Max turns to Liz and then bundles her into the kitchen where they have a whispered fight, while Michael faces the collective wrath of Isobel, Maria, and Cameron.

"We're not leaving you alone with him," Isobel starts.

"No way," continues Maria, crossing her arms. 

"You'd set him free after he flutters his eyelashes at you," Cameron says.

"Michael can resist the charms of Alex Manes for as long as it takes them to talk," Maria says, rolling her eyes a little.

"No," Isobel says, rolling her eyes even harder. "He definitely can't."

Maria scoffs and turns to Isobel, mouth open to argue, but Isobel is already facing Michael again.

"He's trying to kill us Michael," She says the last sentence slowly with a pause between each word like she thinks he doesn't understand that.

"Alex is _not_ irresistible," Maria says, gritting the words out. "And it's not only that he's trying to kill you, he's obviously messing with our heads. God knows what he'll say to you if we leave you alone."

Michael waits a beat for Isobel or Cameron to say something else, but when they don't he speaks.

"Thank you for the concern, but I'm a big boy," he says, leering a little bit and making both Cameron and Maria roll their eyes while Isobel wrinkles her nose in distaste.

"And I can take care of myself," he finishes.

Isobel looks like she wants to argue that point, but Liz interrupts them, pushing in between Maria and Isobel to look at Michael.

"You want to know too, right?" She asks him, sounding a little anxious.

He nods his head and rolls his eyes when Isobel glares at him. "Call it scientific curiosity."

"I call it bullshit," Cameron says. "I've been around Evans for years and I have never made a questionable judgment call."

Michael tries very hard not to think about the night of the Gala at the Emporium, but he's pretty sure that she can read it all on his face.

"The offer isn't going to be on the table for long," Alex says, reminding everyone that he's in the room, not that Michael forgot.

The gallery in front of him turns around to face Alex.

"I am going to get out of this chair," he tells them, like he's already working on it. "The only question is, are you going to get any information out of me or not? Because torture I can handle, both the regular kind and the alien kind. You're not going to get me to talk that way."

"We're not going to torture you," Kyle says immediately, and then turns to everyone else. "We're not torturing him."

"Don't kill him this. Don't torture him that, and _you_ think that Alex isn't irresistible when he has these two wrapped around his little finger," Isobel says, pushing Maria a little bit before she turns to drop down to sit beside Michael.

Liz steps forward before anyone else can talk, "We have a deal."

Cameron sighs and moves towards the kitchen where Max is still standing. Kyle is still sitting down on top of the coffee table facing Alex, and Maria sits down on the arm of the couch right next to Michael.

Alex is looking right at Liz with a smile on his face.

"Then ask away."

Liz turns back to Michael, who gets to his feet again and walks over to her.

She widens her eyes a little, and Michael tries to think of a way to phrase the question to get all the information that they need, but in all honesty, he really just wants the answer to one question.

Liz just breathes out and then turns back to Alex.

"What did you mean by 'parasitic hooks?'" She asks before Michael can.

Alex smiles like that's exactly the question he expected to be asked.

“It’s an evolutionary tick to ensure the survival of the species,” Alex says, not looking away from Liz, and there is almost a lyrical cadence to his words, and Michael finds himself unable to look away.

“They may look like us, but they are not like us, and the differences are great enough that we would notice, so they exude these pheromones that change up our brain chemistry so that we not only ignore the weird and the strange, but also find ourselves doing things we would never have dreamt possible in the name of protecting them.”

Alex’s eyes dart from Liz to Michael and quickly away, but not fast enough that Michael can’t tell that he’s hiding something.

Alex opens his mouth to speak again, and Michael takes a step forward, making Alex’s gaze snap back to him. “What aren’t you saying?”

Alex’s eyes go a little wide, and then he shakes his head.

Michael talks before he can, “If you don’t actually answer the question, I’m definitely not going to give you what you want.”

Alex tilts his head at him, eyes sweeping down and up his body in a way that makes the back of Michael’s neck heat up.

“I think,” he starts off slowly. “That you’ll give me what I want either way.”

Michael swallows hard, and Isobel makes a low noise in disgust.

“But you’re right,” he says before anyone can say anything else, he turns back to Liz, something a little impatient in his face. “Sometimes the connection goes both ways, but that’s incredibly rare, and possibly even more insidious.”

“What does that-?” Liz starts to ask, but Alex shakes his head sharply.

“No,” he says. “I answered your question.”

And then he stops speaking and looks pointedly away.

Michael turns to the others, and everyone seems to not be looking at each other.

Michael just looks to Max who inhales deeply and says, “I’m starving. Let’s go get something to eat.”

“We’re not-” Maria starts.

Cameron steps forward cutting her off, “I’ll stay behind and keep watch.”

“So will I,” Isobel says, and glares at Michael when he opens his mouth to protest.

“We’ll be right on the balcony,” Cameron assures Maria, who looks at Michael and then at Alex behind him and just rolls her eyes a little before she walks out of the house, dragging Liz with her, who hooks her arm through Kyle’s, who looks back at Alex like he’s not sure he wants to leave him alone.

Max follows after them at a slower pace while Cameron walks towards the balcony doors.

Isobel and Michael share a look, and it seems like she’s trying to tell him to be careful so Michael just reaches forward and pats her arm, before he pushes her lightly towards the balcony.

He keeps his back turned and waits until he hears the roar of the engine of Max’s jeep, and the balcony doors closing with a squeak before he turns to Alex who is staring right at him, eyes wide and curious.

“You’re still lying about something,” Michael says, and Alex grins wide and sharp.

“You’re good,” he says, and moves little in his seat, grunting softly at the back of his throat like something hurts. “Tell me how can you tell?”

Michael inhales deeply. “Because I know you, Alex.”

Alex just shakes his head laughing a little, “That’s not my name.”

“Then what is your name?” Michael asks.

Alex licks his lips and straightens up a little, making a face, and then breathing in deeply.

“I’m No One,” he says, voice stressing the last two words. “And Nothing. Technically I don’t exist, and once my job is done, that’ll probably become permanent.”

Michael furrows his brow, "You mean that they're going to kill you after you take care of us?"

Aled shrugs a little, and winces again, “More like put me in statis until the next time that they need me.”

Michael scoffs and shakes his head a little, “Is that what you actually think? That you were in stasis and they woke you up just to do this?”

Alex gives him a look that clearly says, _What else am I supposed to believe?_

Michael just breathes out and shakes his head again, resisting the urge to drop down on the couch and drop his head into his hands.

“I really hate your dad,” Michael says, and is surprised when Alex laughs, something bright and surprised that fills Michael up with warmth.

“Join the club,” Alex responds and he’s still smiling when Michael looks back at him.

And then he winces a little again, and shakes his head looking away from him.

Michael gives him a look, brow furrowing in concern, “Are you okay?”

Alex rolls his eyes at him, “Unsurprisingly, it’s a little bit uncomfortable being tied to a chair.”

Michael frowns, and then licks his lips looking outside to see Cameron and Isobel talking with their backs turned.

He doesn’t move closer to Alex, but he does look down at the ropes tying Alex’s ankles to the chair and he concentrates just a little, and ropes come undone easily, falling to the floor.

“Huh,” Alex says, looking down at his feet and lifting both of his legs. “That was much easier than I thought it was going to be.”

Before Michael can ask what he means, Alex is standing up and then running backwards towards the wall.

The chair breaks with a clatter, and Alex falls to the floor with a pained grunt, and Michael thinks that maybe everyone was right and they shouldn’t have left him alone with Alex.

He looks up in time to see Isobel and Cameron turning towards the door, but he reaches out and locks it and then pushes the couch against the doors when Isobel tries to unlock the door.

“Let us in, Michael!” Isobel yells.

“I got this!” Michael says back, but then Alex is crashing into him, wrapping his still bound hands around Michael’s neck and dragging him backwards until Michael is certain that they hit the wall.

Alex inhales deeply, probably opening his mouth to tell Michael to untie him, but there is just enough space for Michael to twist in Alex’s hold, turning around and lifting his hands to press on either side of Alex’s head, caging him against the wall, and pressing in close.

Alex inhales sharply, face going through several expressions, his eyes darting from Michael’s eyes to his mouth and back again.

Michael feels the air catch in his lungs, and his heartbeat goes sluggish, and he breathes out, and Alex’s eyes flutter, his lips parting slightly, and Michael moves without thinking.

He kisses Alex, pressing their mouths together in a hard kiss, and Alex freezes in his hold, inhaling sharply and going completely still.

Michael pulls back and Alex’s eyes are so big and so dark and so close.

Michael shivers, opening his mouth to speak, and then Alex is moving, slamming his forehead to Michael’s already broken nose.

Michael doesn’t know what kind of noise he makes, but Alex unhooks his hands from around his neck, and pushes him backwards and Michael stumbles and falls back to the floor, hands pressed over his face.

He hears yelling and running and then feels hands moving his hands from his face.

“I’m fine,” Michael tries to say, but Isobel just shushes him.

Cameron comes running back in cursing.

“He’s gone!” she says, sounding frustrated.

Michael swallows hard, tasting blood and wants to apologize, but Isobel tells him to shut up, and Michael does, the dizzy feeling that had been lurking at the edges of his consciousness overtaking him for a second.

“Get Max on the phone. We’re going to need Kyle,” is the last thing that he hears before the entire room spins out of control and then everything goes black.

-

_Two Weeks Later_

-

Michael gets out of the truck, shutting the door a little too hard when Isobel’s phone goes straight to voicemail.

“Call me back, Izzy,” he says. “I don’t care that you’re taking a break from seeing my face and hearing my voice, but Max didn’t meet me at the diner, and he’s not picking up the phone. Call me back.”

Michaels stuffs his phone back into his jacket pocket and drags a hand through his hair. He’s opening the door to the Airstream when a voice stops him in his tracks.

“She’s not going to call you back,” Alex says, and Michael turns around and spots him sitting down in one of the lawnchairs, his feet kicked up on the firepit.

Michael can just make out the cut on his lip in the dim light, and it looks fresh.

“What did you do to her?” Michael demands taking a step towards Alex.

Alex just shrugs and gets up to his feet, “The same thing that I did to Max, but definitely not what I’m going to do to you. My orders are still the same for you.”

"So they're still alive," Michael half states, half asks, feeling relieved when Alex just rolls his eyes, but doesn't deny it.

Michael just breathes in deeply and is glad, even if Max and Isobel are trapped in a cage, he knows that Liz and Kyle will do everything to break them back out. 

Alex tilts his head at Michael, brow furrowed like he's doing something confusing, "I'm here to kill you, and you're relieved?"

Michael just shrugs. He doesn't actually think that Alex will kill him. Hurt him really bad, yes, but actually kill him, no.

"If someone is going to destroy me," he says grinning when Alex's gaze goes wide and a little unfocused. "It might as well be you."

Alex blinks at him, lips slightly parted before he shakes his head and then glares at Michael.

"Stop saying things like that," Alex says, voice a little sharp. "I'm not who you think that I am. And I'm not going to be swayed by a history that doesn't exist. I'm going to kill you. The only question that remains is if you're going to fight back or not."

Michael just sticks his hands into the pocket of his jeans, and stares at Alex as open as possible. "I'm not going to fight you, Alex."

"Why not?" He demands, sounding almost like a child who got told no.

"Because I love you," Michael says simply.

Alex just scoffs, the words not even making a dent, “You need to stop trying to convince me you care about me. Your Jedi mind tricks don’t work on me, remember.”

"I'm not trying to convince you about anything," Michael says. "I'm just telling you the truth."

Alex rolls his eyes, laughing a little in disbelief, "You're really stubborn, aren't you?"

"You're one to talk," Michael responds.

Alex shakes his head, and he gives Michael a half smile, "You know what? I really am not much of a talker."

And that's the only warning Michael gets before Alex goes on the attack.

Michael moves backwards avoiding the first punch, which Alex was obviously expecting, since he turns in a circle and uses the momentum to try and hit him with his other fist.

Michael lifts a hand up to block the punch, and Alex uses that hand to catch both of Michael’s and push them down before punching him right in the face, catching his cheek and making his head snap to the side.

Michael staggers into the Airstream, breathing through the pain.

It’s probably a good thing that Alex waited two weeks before attacking again, since Michael’s face had time to heal, even if his nose still feels a little bit tender.

Alex barely gives him time to catch his breath before he’s trying to pin him against the Airstream.

Michael ducks out of the way and moves backwards when Alex just turns and keeps going after him.

“If you’re going to kill me, why don’t you just shoot me and get it over with?” Michael asks as he catches one of Alex’s wrists in his hand.

Alex just grins, "I like getting my hands dirty. And besides, I have specific orders."

Michael shakes his head, “And you just blindly follow orders?”

Alex gives him a confused look, pulling his hand out of Michael’s grip and taking two steps backwards.

“Why wouldn’t I? All I know about you is that you’re dangerous. A threat that needs to be eliminated.”

“What about yourself?” Michael asks, ignoring everything that he just said.

“ _What_ about myself?” Alex asks, looking even more bewildered.

Michael just shakes his head, giving Alex a mock disappointed look, “You mean, you heard us all calling you Alex, and you didn’t think to look up the name?”

Alex makes a face when he finally understands what Michael is trying to say.

“Alex Manes is dead,” he says, voice completely flat, and even though he’s standing right in front of him, and Michael knows for a fact that he’s _not_ dead, his heart skips a beat and he feels lightheaded and a little bit like he’s going to be sick.

“And you’re going to join him,” and then he’s pulling out two daggers, from sheaths against the small of his back, and Michael thinks that he finally understands what Jesse Manes is trying to do here.

Alex moves forward, and Michael steps back, barely managing to dodge the first swipe of the daggers, the next just barely catches him down his chest, instead Michael jumps back and when he looks down, all of the buttons on his shirt are missing and his shirt is hanging open.

He looks back up at Alex, who is standing still just a couple of feet away, holding the daggers with the blades pressed to his forearms, his fingers curled to fists around the handles, and for the first time since this whole thing started Michael thinks that he’s actually going to die.

Alex is actually going to kill him.

This is going to actually kill Alex once he remembers, and Michael has no doubts that he’s going to remember.

Michael inhales deeply, trying to get his thoughts together, and he finds that he’s strangely okay with the thought of dying.

He looks at Alex, whose brow furrows immediately in confusion, and his hands lower like he’s not sure what to do.

“Before you do this, I want you to remember something for me,” Michael says, and Alex’s look turns suspicious immediately.

“What?” he asks.

“I forgive you,” Michael says, and Alex’s face goes slack, his eyes going too wide before he closes his eyes and shakes his head.

Michael just takes the opportunity to move in closer, so that when Alex opens his eyes, he gasps and goes still.

Michael reaches out and places his hands on his shoulders and Alex jumps, looking down at his hands and then back at Michael’s face.

“You’re going to remember who I am to you, and you’re going to feel incredibly guilty, and I just want you to know that I don’t blame you. Not for this, and not for anything. Okay? Remember that. I forgive you.”

Alex blinks at him, staring at him like he doesn’t understand a word of what Michael is saying.

“Alex-” Michael starts, breathing in, and taking a step closer.

Alex startles at that, and moves, pushing Michael backwards.

Michael staggers a few steps, before Alex is going on the attack.

Michael reacts instinctively, lifting his hands in the air and pushing.

Alex goes flying backwards.

He lands on his front and goes sliding back a few feet.

Michael stumbles forward a couple of steps before Alex moves, getting to his feet, laughing a little breathlessly. 

“Finally,” he gasps out, wiping at his mouth, where he’s bleeding, he’s covered in dirt and there is another cut right on his chin. “I was starting to think you’d be boring the entire time.”

Michael just swallows hard, and clenches his hands at his sides, breathing in deeply as he stares at Alex, who moves closer slowly, down to one dagger, clenched tightly in his right fist.

Alex doesn’t give him any warning as he attacks again, and this time Michael just follows through with the instincts ingrained from several bar fights, dodging the first fist, and then he moves forward to wrap his arms around Alex’s neck, when the momentum of the punch makes him twirl around.

Michael barely gets his arms around him, before Alex is stabbing him in the thigh.

Michael feels the pain, a bright hot wet flash that radiates all the way up his spine, and he dimly thinks, that’s where the femoral artery is, before Alex is elbowing him in the stomach, and then swings his elbow up to catch Michael right below his chin, sending his head snapping backwards as he goes falling.

He lands on the ground hard, and his head cracks on the floor, and stars explode across his vision, and he can taste blood in his mouth, and the pain is radiating all the way down to his toes, and then he feels Alex dropping down on top of him, straddling Michael’s chest, his knees pressing down on Michael’s arms and he leans over Michael.

He reaches backwards with one hand and pulls the dagger out of Michael’s thigh.

Michael grunts in pain, and he feels how fast the blood starts to pour out of the wound.

Alex leans forward, resting one hand beside Michael’s head, and then settling the dagger gripped tightly in his other hand right against Michael’s throat.

Michael can feel the blade deadly and sharp and wet right against his skin.

Alex pushes and he feels a stinging sensation.

Michael swallows hard, blinking his eyes open, and all he can see are Alex’s eyes, bright and so dark as he stares at Michael with an apathetic expression on his face.

“Any last words?” he asks, and Michael inhales deeply and he begins to feel his vision fading out at the edges.

“Yeah,” he says swallowing thickly, and Alex just stares at him, raising an eyebrow.

“I never look away,” he says, eyes falling shut. “Not really.”

There is a moment of perfect silence, where it feels like even the very air is holding its breath.

“What did you just say?” Alex asks, voice trembling. 

Michael inhales deeply, and he opens his mouth again, but he can’t seem to make the words come out.

He barely feels it when Alex moves, getting to his feet in one quick motion and taking several steps away from Michael. He only notices that he wraps something around Michael’s thigh because of the pain that flashes through him in hot waves when he tightens the fabric to slow the bleeding.

Michael blinks his eyes open when he feels hands searching through his pockets, and he sees Alex’s feet, his boots dusty and moving back and forth in his line of vision.

“You have fifteen minutes to get to the scrapyard before he bleeds out,” he hears Alex say, and then his phone is being dropped on the floor, and he can hear Kyle’s voice tiny and panicking.

Michael starts to feel cold, and he turns his head and his eyes flutter open and close and open and he can see Alex’s boots getting further and further away.

Michael closes his eyes and exhales, and lets go.

-

_Two Weeks Later_

-

Michael breathes in sharply as he is startled awake, and he knows immediately that he's not alone.

Just like he knows just as fast that the person sitting down right on the top step that leads up into the Airstream is Alex.

"Come to finish the job?" Michael asks without even opening his eyes, voice coming out thick and hoarse.

Alex scoffs, "If I wanted you dead, you would be."

Michael breathes in deeply, but he keeps his eyes closed. He can feel his pulse beating hot and steady right against the freshly healed scar on his thigh.

“Why didn’t you kill me?” he asks, not really expecting an answer.

“I don’t know,” Alex says, and he sounds thoroughly confused.

Michael turns in his bed then, and then tilts his head down a little before he opens his eyes, and spots Alex immediately.

He’s leaning back against the side, his head tipped up to the ceiling, brow furrowed as he looks at the vents for the AC.

Michael wants to ask him if he remembered something when Michael said the words, but Alex is speaking before he can.

“Why did you kiss me?” Alex asks, almost like it’s being forced out of his mouth, and he looks down to Michael, and his eyes go a little wide when he realizes that Michael is looking right at him.

Michael wasn’t expecting that question.

He moves so that he’s lying on his back, and shrugs a little, “Can’t help myself when you’re that close.”

Alex makes a scoffing, disbelieving sound, shaking his head and looking away from Michael.

Michael sits up then, swinging his feet down, and just barely remembers that he’s naked and keeps the sheet wrapped around his hips.

Alex’s gaze flickers over to him, and then away just as fast, a flash of red spreading across his cheeks.

Michael licks his lips and decides to test out a theory. “Maybe it’s just the alien pheromones talking.”

Alex scoffs again, this time more amused as he looks back to Michael, raising an eyebrow, “You actually believed that?”

Michael smiles, and tries not to let it go wide and bright when Alex’s face goes slack with surprise, eyes going slightly wide, lips slightly parted. 

“Not really,” he says, and Alex just blinks several times before he swallows hard and licks his lips before, looking away again.

“The only cases recorded happened on purpose, and it was a defense mechanism, a way to stay alive in a world that wanted to kill them.”

Michael blinks at him in surprise, and Alex seems to feel it because he rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t look back at him. “I don’t remember anything concrete if that’s what you’re asking, but the Shepherd Protocol is revisionist history at its finest. I managed to unlock the sealed records, and I read between the lines and made a choice.”

“And what did you choose?” Michael prompts when Alex doesn’t keep talking.

“I don’t want to kill you, because you’ve done nothing wrong,” he answers, looking back over at Michael. “And even though you repeatedly told me that you forgive me, I still feel kind of guilty. Especially about the twins.”

The look in his eyes is half accusing, half confusion, like he's never felt guilt about anything before.

“Do you know where they are?” Michael demands, gathering the sheet around himself, and making to get off the bed.

Alex shakes his head, giving Michael a slightly apologetic look, “No, my dad moved them and he didn’t tell me where.”

Michael deflates immediately and he scrubs a hand through his hair. He should’ve known it wouldn’t have been that easy.

He drops his face into his hands and presses his fingers hard into the backs of his eyelids, until color explodes in the darkness.

It's only been two weeks, and technically Michael is still on bed rest, but he's been feeling increasingly restless. 

“Do you want me to help you find them?” Alex asks, starling Michael not only with the words, but how close he sounds.

When Michael looks up, he has to blink a few times to bring Alex into focus, crouched down in the small space between the bed and the closet, pressed against the door, practically right at Michael's feet.

Michael feels tingly, and lightheaded all of a sudden, and he has the overwhelming urge to drop into the small space between them, and kiss Alex.

But he can practically feel his face still aching from what happened the last time that he did that.

He pushes the feeling down and clears his throat. "I don't need your help."

Alex tilts his head to the side, and his eyes are dark and hypnotic, and he licks against his bottom lip like he knows how much Michael wants to do that.

"I didn't ask you what you needed," Alex says in a low voice, thrumming with a strange sort of tension that Michael doesn't immediately recognize. "I asked, if you want me-"

Michael's breath catches in his throat and he feels heat snake down the back of his neck.

"-to help," Alex finishes after the world's longest pause.

Michael looks into Alex's eyes, and he can see the wry amusement there, like he's very much aware of what he's doing to Michael.

"You're fucking with me," Michael says, voice breathless with disbelief.

Alex just smiles, a small, warm thing, that is still mostly sarcastic and Michael scoffs.

"You know, most people would be tiptoeing around the person that they tried to kill, right?"

Alex's smile goes even wider, "But I'm not most people to you, am I? You don't want to kill me even though I hurt you, and I couldn't kill you. I still don't understand why. But the moment I knew, really knew that you would die, it felt like I was making the biggest mistake of my life."

Michael exhales roughly, and he just stares at Alex, who is looking back at him like he hopes that Michael would know why he couldn't kill him, but Michael feels like anything that he says right now wouldn't be taken seriously, so he does the next best thing.

He drops to his knees, right in front of Alex, the sheet just barely keeping him modest, and Alex goes completely still, swallowing hard, eyes going wide.

Michael leans in, and Alex breathes in shakily.

“What are you doing?” he asks.

Michael stares at him intently, before he lets his eyes drop down to Alex’s mouth and then back up again.

Alex’s eyes go even wider.

“You can’t possibly-” he starts, voice low and shaky, but Michael doesn’t let him finish.

He reaches forward and tucks his fingers right beneath Alex’s jaw.

Alex’s eyes seem to go even wider as he stops talking abruptly, mouth shutting with a click.

He swallows hard as Michael slides his hands to the back of his neck, but when Michael tugs he moves with the touch easily, eyes dropping to Michael’s mouth, really obviously.

Michael can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips, and Alex's gaze flickers back up to his eyes and he looks a little bit confused, but then he breathes out carefully, and the look in his eyes turns into something that Michael is very familiar with.

He tugs Alex in a little bit closer, and tilts his head a little before he leans in and stops just shy of brushing their lips together.

Alex inhales sharply, and pulls back a little, just enough that Michael freezes, his fingers still pressed to the back of Alex's neck.

Before he can decide to move away or apologize, Alex is moving back in, eyes darting back to his mouth, an almost curious look on his face.

Alex kisses him, and Michael is the one who goes still this time, abruptly realizing that if this Alex has no memories, then when Michael had kissed him would've been the first time that he'd ever been kissed, and that this would be the first time that he ever kissed someone.

Michael thinks about wasted time and second chances, and he slides his fingers up into the back of Alex’s head, and kisses him back.

Alex makes a low noise at the back of his throat, and Michael feels his hands pressing on either side of his face, cupping his jaw in his hands.

His fingers press in too tight, and he pulls back a little, and Michael’s eyes flutter open to see that Alex is staring at him with wide, surprised eyes.

Michael licks across his bottom lip and inhales to speak, but Alex moves, sliding his fingers up into Michael’s hair and tugging him back in for another kiss, eyes still open wide.

Michael’s eyes fall shut, and he pushes into the kiss, and parts his lips, licking across Alex’s bottom lip.

Alex jumps in his hold, making a low noise at the back of his throat, and Michael slides his hands back down, digging his fingers into the back of his neck, tilting his head backwards a little before he licks into his mouth, deepening the kiss.

Alex jolts going still for a second that seems to last an eternity, and then he’s surging into Michael, fingers going tighter in his hair as he tilts Michael’s head before he’s kissing him back like he just figured out that he knows exactly what he’s doing.

He pushes into Michael's space until they're pressed together from knee to chest and drags his hands down to the back of Michael's neck as he kisses him deep and wet and in exactly the way that only Alex knows how to do.

Michael sinks into the kiss, dragging his hands down Alex's chest to wrap around his waist, clenching the fabric of his black sweater in his fists.

Alex slides his hands to Michael’s face, and pulls back, separating their mouths with a low sound.

Michael breathes in raggedly, eyes fluttering open.

Alex still has his eyes closed, and he pulls his bottom lip into his mouth before he breathes out and opens his eyes.

He looks at Michael from beneath heavy lids, eyes so dark they’re almost black, and he drops his gaze down to Michael’s mouth again, before he leans in, almost like he can’t help himself.

Michael pushes into the kiss, eagerly, and Alex makes an amused sound against his mouth, before he drags his hands back into Michael’s hair, wrapping his fingers in the strands and pulling tight.

Michael makes a low, almost shocked noise as spikes of heat shoot down the back of his spine, and Alex tugs on his hair again, almost like he wants Michael to make the same noise.

So Michael does, and Alex bites against his mouth, kissing him harder, fingers going even tighter in his hair as he pushes in even closer.

Michael tightens his arms around Alex’s waist, and he forgets about everything but the feeling of Alex pressed so close, and the way he’s kissing Michael like it’s something new and exciting, but at the same time so familiar that Michael forgets that he isn’t really Alex.

Alex drags his hands back down to the back of Michael’s neck, and he presses his palms over Michael’s ears, tipping his head back as he slowly starts to get back up to his feet, dragging their mouths apart.

Michael makes a low noise and he chases after Alex, moving to get to his feet as well, their lips practically magnetized.

Michael pushes in and kisses Alex again, but Alex tugs him backwards, and then drags his hands down to Michael’s chest and pushes him so that he falls back on his bed.

Michael breathes in shakily, leaning up on his elbows and Alex stares down at him, brow furrowed.

“How are you doing that?” he asks, voice low and hoarse.

“Doing what?” Michael asks mirroring Alex’s expression.

“Putting thoughts in my heads, usually I can tell when there is one of you in my head, but with you there’s just nothing,” he says, looking confused and just a tiny bit exasperated, and Michael can’t help but laugh, dropping back down on top of his bed as the laughter spills out of his mouth in uncontrollable bursts.

“Stop laughing at me,” Alex demands, which just makes Michael laugh even harder.

The laughter gets stuck in his throat, when Alex drops down on top of the bed, pressing his knees down on either side of Michael’s hips.

Michael moves his hands, and Alex grabs on to his wrists, pressing his hands down on above his head and he leans down even further over him.

Michael feels his heart jump into his throat and start beating over time.

He looks menacing for all of five seconds, before his gaze drops down to Michael’s mouth.

“Answer the question,” he says, sounding breathless.

“I’m not doing anything,” Michael says, and Alex leans up a little, giving him a skeptical look. 

“I’m not,” he insists. “Those are your memories of us.”

Alex lets go of his hands, sitting up so that he ‘s more or less settled back on Michael’s thighs, and he still looks a little skeptical, but when Michael doesn’t say anything else, his look turns more thoughtful.

He stares at Michael intently for a second, and Michael tries not to squirm too much under the attention, and then his gaze is dropping down to Michael’s neck.

Michael watches, feeling sort of hypnotized, as Alex licks across his bottom lip, and then he leans back down, settling a hand right by Michael’s head, before he leans in even closer, nudging Michael’s chin up with his nose, before he leans down even closer, and presses his mouth right on the edge of Michael’s jaw, behind his ear.

He licks against the skin, sucking on the spot, and Michael jolts, feeling sparks going off in his head, hands coming up to grab on to Alex’s hips, tugging him in closer.

Alex moves until he can look Michael in the eyes, and there is that curious look in his eyes again, like he’s wondering where else he can touch Michael to make him react like that.

Michael tangles his fingers in the belt loops of his pants and leans up, while Alex leans down, their mouths barely brushing together, when there is a sharp knock on the Airstream door.

“Guerin! Wake up! It’s time for your morning check up,” Maria yells, banging on the door again.

Michael freezes and looks at Alex with wide eyes. Alex just stares at him looking far more amused than the situation warrants.

“Isn’t that your girlfriend?” Alex whispers in a low voice.

Michael furrows his brow, the fear of getting caught with Alex when everyone is determined to keep Michael away from him, giving way to confusion.

“If you think that she’s my girlfriend then why did you kiss me?” Michael asks back in an equally low voice.

Alex gives him a baleful look. “You kissed me first,” he accuses. “And I figured maybe you had an open relationship. Who am I to judge?”

“Guerin!” Maria calls again, and this time she tries to actually open the door and it starts to open since Alex hadn’t locked it after he had broken in.

Michael reacts immediately, reaching out with one hand to push the door close and locks it with a twist of his wrist.

There is a second of silence before Maria speaks up again, voice highly incredulous. “Did you seriously just lock me out?”

Michael clears his throat and tries to think of a reason that he wouldn’t want her in here, and comes up with only one, “Yeah, I’m kind of naked in here.”

There is a second of more incredulous, and slightly suspicious silence. “And that’s a problem because?”

Michael rolls his eyes a little, “Well, usually it wouldn’t be, but I’m kind of busy.”

Maria makes a low noise half disgusted half impatient, “Guerin, I don’t care if you’re jerking off. I just have to check your temperature.”

“She’s very determined to get in here,” Alex says, sounding amused, voice just loud enough to carry. Not loud enough for Maria to tell who it is, but just enough that she'll be able to tell it's not Michael.

There is another second of incredulous, and frankly insulted silence.

“Jesus Christ, Guerin,” Maria says, managing to sound both hurt and disappointed. “You’re barely out of bed rest and you’re already getting your dick sucked?”

“I’m trying to,” Michael says, looking right at Alex and raising an eyebrow.

Alex leans back up to sit back on Michael’s thighs, and he tilts his head to the side, eyes fluttering shut.

Michael barely hears what Maria says next because Alex moves so that he’s kneeling on the floor again, and he tugs on the sheet that has somehow managed to keep Michael modest this entire time, until it falls to the floor.

Michael’s half hard, and all it takes is Alex looking at him with eyes wide and dark with hunger, for him to get fully hard.

Alex’s eyes flicker to his face and them back to his cock, and he reaches forward with one hand, wrapping his fingers around the base and moves his hand, almost experimentally.

Michael moans, too loud and too desperate to be mistaken as anything else.

“You are unfuckingbelievable,” he hears Maria say, the words breaking through the pleasurable haze, almost too much of an intrusion.

“Jesus,” he snaps. “I get it. I’m an asshole, but I’m fine, and you really don’t want to come in here, so maybe just tell Valenti that I’m a dick who was too busy getting his dick wet to let you check his temperature.”

He's sure that Maria says something else, but Alex takes that moment to learn down and presses his mouth to the tip of Michael's cock.

Michael groans, letting his head drop backwards, and then Alex is pulling away, and when Michael looks at him, the look of distaste on his face is so inappropriately funny that he bursts into laughter again.

Alex glares at him, but Michael just laughs harder.

"Sorry," he says as the giggles die down. "It's just that that's the same exact face you made the first time that we did this."

Alex gives him a look that says he doubts that there were more times after the first one, and Michael just shrugs a little. "You were pretty determined to finish, and afterwards you said it's an acquired taste."

Alex gives him a thoughtful look and then looks back down to Michael's cock.

Michael is about to tell him that he really doesn't have to do this, if he doesn't actually want to, when Alex leans back down, and puts his mouth back on Michael's cock.

Michael sighs, dropping his head back against the pillow, and lifting a hand to the side of Alex’s head, fingers brushing against his ear and jaw.

Alex just inhales deeply, and then before Michael can say anything, he opens his mouth and sinks down on his cock, until it hits the back of his throat.

Michael moans low in the back of his, sliding his hand to the back of Alex’s head, and just resting his fingers there, the silky soft strands of his hair tickling his fingers.

Alex just keeps Michael’s cock in his mouth like he has no idea what to do, and then he swallows, cheeks hollowing around Michael’s cock, and Michael feels fireworks explode in his head, and the pleasure pools low in his belly, and a loud, long moan drops out of his mouth, shocked and cracking, and Alex hums in interest as he pulls off of Michael’s cock.

“That’s why I like this,” he says confidently, shooting Michael a look out of the corner of his eye, while he wraps one hand around the base of Michael’s cock and starts to jerk him off slowly, in a loose grip.

Michael whines low in the back of his throat and Alex smiles, wicked and knowing.

“The sounds you make,” he says, nonsensically in Michael’s opinion, but before Michael can ask him what he’s talking about, Alex sucks Michael’s cock back into his mouth.

Michael presses his fingers to the back of Alex’s neck, and tangles the fingers of his other hand in his hair so that he doesn’t grab Alex’s head and just fucks into his mouth like he wants to.

He loses track of time and space and even where they are. All he knows is Alex and his mouth, hot and warm and tight around Michael’s cock, sucking him off like he’s a pro in what Michael likes, like it’s all muscle memory, and Michael doesn’t know if it’s the fact that he hasn’t gotten off in almost a month, or that it’s _Alex_ , but when he comes it’s almost like a surprise, even though he felt the build up low in the pit of his stomach.

He groans, low and loud, and digs his fingers into the back of Alex’s neck.

Alex swallows everything down, and then makes a face as he pulls away from Michael’s cock. Michael lets go and slides his hand to his cheek, patting the side of his head.

Alex huffs out a laugh, and Michael tries to relearn how gravity works and if that will stop the room from spinning.

When he looks back to Alex, it’s to see that he’s leaning back on his heels, with the most smug look that Michael has ever seen on his face.

Michael breathes in deeply, and wraps his hands around Alex’s shoulders and tugs. 

Alex goes willingly, and lets Michael push him down on the bed, and when Michael leans in and kisses him, Alex wraps his arms around Michael’s shoulders and pulls him down closer, kissing him back.

-

Michael doesn’t realize that he’d been expecting to wake up alone, until he hears Alex set something down on the counter right by the bed.

“Coffee,” he says, when he realizes that Michael is awake. “It’s the only edible thing in your fridge.”

He sounds disapproving.

Michael blinks his eyes open and he looks first out of the window to see that the sun is definitely setting, and then his gaze goes to the coffee mug that’s sitting on top of his counter, the coffee hot enough that it’s still steaming, the tendrils of smoke spiraling into the air.

Michael follows them and finds Alex, leaning back against the counter, his own mug of coffee in his hands. He’s back in his clothes, and if it wasn’t for the utter mess that his hair was, Michael would’ve thought what had happened this morning was just a dream.

“You stayed,” Michael says, knowing that he sounds surprised.

Alex just gives him a look, furrowing his eyebrows. “Was I supposed to go?”

Michael just shrugs sitting up in his bed, and reaches forward to grab the mug of coffee, carefully bringing it close to his face.

“You never stay, usually,” Michael responds, and Alex just rolls his eyes.

“I was gathering evidence,” he responds, completely serious, and doesn’t answer the obvious question when Michael raises his eyebrow.

He just sips at his coffee.

Michael takes a sip of his, expecting to hate it.

He’s not entirely surprised when it seems like Alex can’t even remember their first kiss, but he automatically remembers how Michael takes his coffee.

They drink their coffee in silence after that, and Alex sets his mug down on the counter, and turns to face Michael, tilting his head to the side a little and looking indecisive, before he shrugs and crosses the space between them.

Michael fully expects to be kissed, the air catching painfully in the back of his throat, his eyes fluttering open and shut and then open again.

But Alex doesn’t kiss him, he just leans in, dropping his forehead to Michael’s and then he breathes in, and the move catches him off guard and makes his heart stutter in his chest.

“There’s something I have to take care of,” he says, opening his eyes and looking straight into Michael’s, making him feel like Alex was looking straight through him.

“But I’m coming back for you,” he says.

Michael breathes shakily, “To kill me or to kiss me?”

Alex grins, bright and unexpected, and pulls away from Michael, taking a step back and shrugging. “That’s a risk you’re just going to have to take.”

And then he’s walking backwards and turning around and walking out of the Airstream, leaving the door open behind himself. 

Michael just exhales roughly, and continues to drink his coffee, wondering if he should be worried that he doesn’t feel more scared.

-

_Three Weeks Later_

-

“Are you sure that’s where they’re keeping them?” Michael asks, looking up from the map spread out on top of the table to where Cameron is standing right by the entrance to the hall, that leads to the front door.

She rolls her eyes a little at him. “I may not be a codebreaker, but I know my way around a computer. I followed the trail as well as I could, and it all leads to that facility.”

Michael nods his head and looks over to where Liz is half asleep, her head in Maria’s lap. None of them have really slept well over the last couple of weeks, and it seems like the only time Liz falls asleep anymore is when they’re all in the same room together.

It was the only reason that Michael was still sleeping in Max’s guest room and not in Alex’s bedroom since he had all but moved into Alex’s house.

“So what’s the plan?” Michael asks turning back to Cameron and Kyle.

Cameron moves closer to the table, “I’m searching for the blueprints just to see what kind of set up we’re working with. And I have a buddy working on what type of security firm is working the place, but that’s going to take more time.”

She gives him an apologetic look, and Michael tries very hard not to get frustrated.

It’s not like he’d been in any shape to do anything at all for the first couple of weeks after Alex had almost killed him.

Michael knows exactly how he feels about that, and he’s been told several times by Maria and Liz and Cameron and even Kyle, all the ways that he’s wrong to feel the way that he does.

And Michael knows that they’re just scared, but Alex also saved his life, a distinction he makes and is always shut down by Maria telling him, “Yeah, but he’s also the one who put your life in danger.”

Michael doesn’t try to tell them that he’s already talked to Alex since then. He doesn’t think it’s going to go down well with anyone.

Michael sits back on one of the chairs and doesn’t drop his head in his hands, no matter how much he wants to.

“I know that you’re worried about them,” Cameron says in a surprisingly soft voice. “I can’t even begin to imagine how much it’s killing you, but we have to be careful and do this right, and that takes time.”

“Or I can save you the time, and you can not walk into an obvious trap,” Alex voice pipes up from the hallway behind them.

Michael finds it kind of funny how everyone else reacts.

Cameron practically jumps over the table to stand right in front of Alex. Maria moves from the couch and drops down on Michael’s lap, wrapping an arm around his shoulders, her taser held tightly in her hand. Kyle steps up to stand right at Cameron’s back, and Liz moves slower from her position on the couch to where Michael and Maria are sitting, settling her hand on top of Michael’s shoulder.

Alex looks even more amused than Michael feels.

“How did you get in here?” Cameron demands. “The alarm was turned on.”

Alex’s gaze doesn’t move from Michael as he responds, “It wasn’t easy, until I realized that this is my house and then it became almost too easy. I’m kind of disappointed in myself if we’re being honest. It was kind of predictable.”

He’s looking at Michael like he’s making jokes that he knows only Michael would understand, and Michael can’t help the smile that tugs the corners of his mouth up.

“What are you doing here?” Maria demands, getting up from Michael’s lap to stand right in front of him, to block him from Alex’s sight. “Because if you think that we’re just going to let you take Michael, you have another thing coming.”

Alex snorts in amusement. “I think that I can easily take Michael and that he’d come willingly if I asked, but that’s not why I’m here.”

Maria makes a noise somewhere halfway between shock and affront at the insinuation, but Michael doesn’t really want to witness a pissing contest between Maria and Alex. He reaches forward and pushes her gently to the side, over to where Liz is standing.

Liz tugs her the rest of the way, she goes reluctantly, and keeps the hand that she has wrapped around the taser lifted.

Michael can see the amused and condescending, _ah, how adorable, you have a taser_ , look that Alex is giving Maria before his eyes drift back to Michael and the look melts away from his face.

Michael breathes in shakily, and tries to keep his mind on the task at hand.

“Why are you here then?” Cameron asks before Michael can. 

“I’m here to help,” Alex says like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. 

There is a second of silence, before Kyle speaks.

“Help with what, exactly?” he asks, sounding cautiously optimistic.

“Getting Isobel and Max back, of course.”

There is a second of silence before the room explodes with noise, everyone talking at once, yelling at Alex, and at each other.

Michael stays still, and doesn’t even speak, because Alex is still staring at him, eyebrows raised expectantly.

“You don’t remember who you are or even who we are, do you?” Michael asks in a soft voice, that Alex somehow hears, and makes everyone stop talking.

“No, not really,” Alex responds, like he’d been expecting Michael to ask him that. “There are more flashes, but they make no sense at all. And memory is faulty anyway, we only remember things in a way that corresponds with our bias.”

“So you don’t remember, and you expect us to believe that you’re here to help?” Cameron asks, and Alex’s gaze flickers over to her, and then back to Michael.

“I don’t care if any of them believe me or not,” he tells Michael. “I want to help. To make right what I did wrong. Do _you_ believe me?”

“Yes,” Michael says without hesitation.

At least three people make rude noises with their mouths, while Cameron says, "Yeah, cause you're a fucking idiot with a death wish."

"If Michael believes him," Kyle starts, attempting to play peace maker.

"Don't you start," Liz says. "Not when you were advocating for us to take him down after we got Michael stabilized after he almost killed him. You remember _that_ don't you?"

She shoots the last question to Alex, who looks away from Michael, gaze steady and blank, to Liz.

"That you left him bleeding out in the ground from wounds you caused!" She continues, voice trembling from fear and rage. "How are we supposed to trust that you're not going to try and do that again?"

"You're not," Alex says, once again like it's obvious. "I'm not here asking for you to trust me. Or even ask for your permission to go and save the twins. I'm going to do this, whether you want me to or not. The only question is, do you want my help now or after you get caught and put in cages right next to them?"

“What makes you so sure that we’re going to get caught?” Cameron asks, a little defensively.

Alex takes a step closer into the room, and everyone moves again, forming a barrier between him and Michael.

Alex rolls his eyes so hard that Michael fears for a moment that his eyes are going to get stuck like that, but he just continues to move until he’s standing on the other side of the table, looking down at the map where Cameron had marked the location of the facility.

He stares at the map for a moment, eyes darting all over it, before he closes his eyes and tilts his head to the side.

After a few seconds, his eyes snap open and then he’s grabbing a red marker from the pen holder holding the map open and then starts making marks all over.

Cameron moves forward, looking down at the map, and she makes a low hissing sound, and then drops down to sit on the chair next to Michael’s.

“What?” Liz asks, stepping forward with Maria, who both haven’t stopped looking at Alex like he’s going to snap and kill them all.

Kyle looks from Alex to Cameron to the map and back all over again, a look in his eyes like he understands what’s going on, but he’s also not one hundred percent sure.

“Say you manage to get through the blockade they have set up right here,” Alex starts, circling a line that he had slashed through the main road leading to the facility. “Project Shepherd has over two dozen soldiers stationed between it and the facility. And that’s not to mention the security inside.”

“If it’s so heavily guarded,” Maria starts, looking down at the map. “Doesn’t that mean that they have to be keeping Max and Isobel in there?”

Alex shakes his head. “No, what they’re guarding there _is_ classified. They’re keeping the twins in the bunker hidden beneath the rubble of Caulfield. It was a war shelter, so it survived the explosion. My dad figures that it’s the last place any of you would think to look, and he was right.”

He looks up straight into Michael’s eyes, and the look he gives him is kind of sympathetic, like he knows exactly what happened there.

“What’s to stop us from just using the information you gave us and going to get them ourselves?” Liz demands, waving a hand in between Michael and Alex to get Alex’s attention.

“You may know where it’s located, but there are other things to consider, like the security and the fact that it’s underground which makes it difficult to actually get any heat signatures to figure out how many people are down there. From the information that I've gathered, there are ten different scientists and doctors coming and going and at least a dozen security officers rotating in three different twelve hour shifts, so there are at least eight guards at all times."

Alex finishes speaking and looks at them with a sort of manic grin.

"What are you so happy about?" Maria asks, sounding a mix between suspicious and petulant, like she wanted to be let in on the joke.

"Surveillance was a bit tedious," Alex responds, making a face before he smiles again and turns to Michael. "But the real fun part was figuring out how to infiltrate the bunker."

No one says anything for a second, and Michael takes the moment to just look at Alex. 

There's something almost nervous about him and Michael isn't exactly shocked to realize that even though he said yes, Alex doesn't think that he actually believes him.

"You have this whole thing planned out to the last detail, don't you?" Michael asks, making everyone, but Alex jump like they'd forgotten that he was there.

Alex doesn’t say anything, but the smug look on his face speaks for itself.

Michael shakes his head looking away, and trying to stop the smile that wants to spread across his face.

Michael hopes that they’ll be able to get Alex’s memories back, but there is something about this Alex, when he’s not actively trying to kill him, that Michael is going to miss.

“Then why are you here?” Maria asks. “If you already know where they are and what to do, why didn’t you just do it?”

Michael turns back just in time to watch Alex roll his eyes again.

“Because he can’t do it alone,” Cameron says, and Michael looks over to her to see her looking at Alex speculatively. “He needs our help.”

Alex makes a face, “Actually I only need one of you.”

His gaze drops back to Michael and he raises one eyebrow.

“No way,” both Maria and Liz say at the same time.

“I would have to agree,” Kyle says. “No offense, but how do we trust that you’re not just going to put him in a cage next to Isobel and Max?”

“You don’t-” Alex starts, giving Kyle an exasperated look.

“I trust him,” Michael says, interrupting him and getting to his feet.

Cameron rolls her eyes and lets her head fall against the back of the chair, while Maria and Liz and Kyle all turn to face him, unhappy expressions on all of their faces.

“Look,” he says before they can say anything. “I get where you all are coming from, but I know what I’m doing.”

Kyle gives him a disbelieving look, Liz crosses her arms, and Maria rolls her eyes, but they don’t back down.

“You’re an idiot when it comes to Alex,” Cameron pipes up, but Michael ignores her.

“Even if you don’t trust Alex, don’t you guys trust me?”

Liz softens a little bit at that, and so does Kyle, but Maria crosses her arms, and just gives him a look.

“When it comes to Alex,” she says, and Michael just sighs. “I wouldn’t trust anything that you say or do.”

“Okay, fine, trust me or don’t, the decision is mine to make, and I say, that I’m going to help him get Max and Isobel back. You remember that right? That’s why we’re doing this? To save them?”

“It’s his fault that we need to save them in the first place!” Maria snaps.

“I’ve had enough of this,” Alex says, but his voice sounds kind of muffled, and when Michael looks over to him, it’s to see that he’s wearing a gas mask that only covers his mouth and nose.

Before anyone can say or do anything, Alex lifts a hand with what looks like a smoke grenade. He pulls the pin and tosses the canister on the other side of the table where it begins to fill the air with dense white smoke.

Everyone jumps away, but Michael can see that it’s already too late.

They fall, passing out almost immediately, but Michael doesn’t even feel a tingle.

He looks over to Alex who is writing something out what looks like instructions on top of the map.

“It won’t affect you, don’t worry,” Alex tells him, before he steps around the table, and holds his hand out. “Shall we?”

Michael looks at everyone, at how the smoke dissipates fast and how they all look like they’re sleeping, just slight redness to their eyes and beneath their noses.

“They’ll be fine, I promise,” Alex says, and Michael turns to look at him, and then looks down at his hand.

Michael inhales deeply, and then licks his lips and slides his hand into Alex’s.

He looks up at Alex’s face, and even though he can’t see his actual smile, he can tell that he’s smiling.

“Let’s blow this joint,” he says, and then he’s pulling Michael behind him as he walks out of the house.

Michael lets himself be dragged along, and he hopes that he didn’t make the wrong decision.

-

Michael thinks that maybe he did make the wrong choice, and he would just blame his anxiety playing games with his mind, but then Alex pulls the car over and turns to face him and says, “I’m really sorry about this.”

“Sorry about wha-?” Michael starts, and then Alex sets his hand on the side of Michael's face and pushes him into the window, exposing his neck, before he feels the slight pinch of a needle, and even without knowing what it is, Michael still recognizes the effects of the alien death serum.

Alex lets him go, and Michael slaps his hand over the spot on his neck, brow furrowing in confusion as he looks at Alex, “What did you just do to me?”

Alex doesn’t reply, and Michael feels lightheaded all of a sudden, and his head pitches to the side, and he hits the glass window.

He feels something cold and metal and familiar wrapping around his wrists, and he blinks his eyes open and looks down, and sees handcuffs around his wrists. 

Michael huffs out a disbelieving laugh, and drops his head back against the back seat, shaking his head.

“I’m such an idiot,” he says as Alex starts the car back on without another word and pulls back on to the road. “I can’t believe I trusted you, and you tricked me, again.”

He can feel Alex turn to look at him, but he doesn’t give him the satisfaction of looking back.

“Do you really?” he asks, in a low voice, and realizes after a few seconds that Michael isn’t going to answer him. “Come on, Guerin, do you actually trust me or was that all just an act?”

Michael’s gaze snaps to him at that, but Alex is looking back at the road.

“I _did_ ,” Michael lies, stressing the last word.

Alex shoots him a quick look at him out of the corner of his eyes, and Michael can see his hands clenching tightly around the steering wheel. “Then trust me.”

“What are you planning to do?” Michael asks, but Alex just shoots him another quick look, but doesn’t answer.

Michael looks out the windshield, and his breath catches in his throat.

What’s left of Caulfield lies before them, getting closer and closer, and Michael barely even notices the two guards who seemingly pop out of the ground, and motion for Alex to stop the car.

Alex stops the car, and gets out without saying a word, raising his hands in the air.

The two guards, a woman with dark hair wrapped into a bun at the nape of her neck, and a man with a shaved head and tattoos crawling up the side of his neck, push him against the side of the car to pat him down.

Alex looks at Michael and seems like he’s telling him to behave with his eyes, but there is no way that Michael is going to make this easy for him.

The guards step away from him taking two guns that Michael had no idea he was carrying, and Alex turns around to face them.

They talk in muffled voices and then the guards look up and into the car, straight at Michael, and Michael bristles immediately, going on the defensive.

They move to walk around the car, and Michael watches in slight disbelief as Alex pushes away from the truck, and practically trips and catches himself on both of the guards, both hands coming up to hang on to their shoulders.

He straightens himself and smiles, and then turns around and begins to walk towards what was left of the prison.

Michael freezes momentarily again, so when the door opens he doesn’t fight back until they reach in for him.

Michael manages to catch one of them in the face with his foot, when they drag him out by his leg, letting him drop to the floor.

“I thought you said he was docile!” the woman yells back towards Alex.

Alex turns around and shrugs a little, “I said he’s neutered not that he’s sedated.”

Michael makes a face at the phrasing, as the male guard pulls him up to his feet, before pushing him forward.

Michael stumbles forward a few steps and glares at Alex when they push him past him, and towards what looks like a manhole in the middle of the ground.

They make Michael go down first, and there are two more guards waiting at the bottom.

One guard grabs on to the back of his shirt, and holds him in place while Alex climbs down.

Michael tries not to feel like a lamb being led to the slaughter, and just barely manages not to laugh when Alex misses the last bar and the guard at the bottom, catches him before he falls on the floor.

Alex thanks the guy with a strained smile, and unwraps his arms from around his shoulders.

Alex takes a step towards Michael, and moves to grab him out of the other guard’s hands, pulling Michael closer with one hand around his handcuffs, and patting the other guard on the shoulder.

“I got him,” he says.

The guard nods, “The Master Sergeant isn’t here today. But we will be sure to let him know that you’ve brought in the last one.”

“Oh, so you haven’t let him know?” Alex asks.

“No, sir,” he responds. “We were waiting for confirmation.”

“Good,” Alex responds, and then he’s letting go of Michael and lifts his hands up, pushing back the long black sleeve around his left wrist, and he twists the face of the clock, before pressing one of the buttons on the side, and then there is a sharp, high pitched whine, and then the guards are falling to the floor, making noises like they’ve just been hit with a taser.

Michael sees one of the guards that were topside, falling down the manhole and landing with a thud on the ground.

Michael turns to Alex, “You did all of that on purpose.”

Alex rolls his eyes, “I’m not that clumsy. Now come on. There are four more to deal with.”

He wraps a hand around the chain holding the handcuffs together and tugs Michael along a dark and damp hall that leads right to a metal door with a keypad, the word NO UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS ALLOWED flashing in red.

Alex just lifts his hand to the keypad and inputs a number and then a panel opens up, and he lifts Michael’s hands, and presses one of them against the panel, pressing his own hand over Michael.

Michael touches something smooth and cold that lights up right where his hand is pressed, turning warm, and then he feels a small pinch, and Alex pulls their hands away.

ACCESS GRANTED flashes in green and then the door opens.

“That’s why you injected me with the serum, because you needed a sample of my blood to get in.”

Alex doesn’t answer, he just tugs Michael along behind him as he walks through the doors.

“You could’ve just said something,” Michael presses, trying not to halt their process when this is supposed to be a rescue mission not a couples' counseling session.

“I’m not authorized to enter unless I had you with me,” Alex says after a few minutes. “And I wasn’t sure how good your acting skills were.”

Michael opens his mouth to speak, but then Alex stops before turning into the other hall, pushing Michael back against the wall, before he moves to peek over the side.

He pulls back and looks over to Michael, and Michael inhales sharply, feeling a bit dizzy, when he realizes how close they are.

Alex doesn’t seem to be having the same problems because he starts to speak.

“We’re missing one guard, but I don’t think that we can wait much longer. They’re bound to notice that the other four are MIA.”

“Uncuff me, and I’ll help you-” Michael starts, but Alex shakes his head.

“The only way we’re getting close enough for me to take them down is if I bring you in handcuffs, but here,” he slips something small and metallic into Michael’s hand. “And remember, Alpha-Three-Fifteen-Zero-Zero-Charlie-Oscar-Seven-Eight-Thirty-Four-Fifty-Six-Zero.”

“What is that-?” Michael starts, quickly repeating the sequence to memorize it.

But Alex shushes him and then he pulls away from Michael, inhaling deeply, and moving to tug Michael down the hall.

Michael was planning on helping Alex whether he wanted to or not, and then his entire nervous system freezes when he sees Max and Isobel.

They are being held in separate cells, right next to each other, but instead of bars it was just glass. Max was lying back in a cot, shirtless, and wearing just a pair of white briefs, marks all over his skin and a shaved head, and even from this distance, Michael could see that he was breathing rapidly. Isobel was sitting down in the center of her cell, in white tank top and pair of white briefs, and like Max there are marks of torture all over her body, and like Max they also shaved her head.

Michael makes a low noise, and Isobel's head snaps up immediately, to look straight at him.

She makes a low noise that he can barely hear and then she's getting to her feet and rushing forward, slamming her hands on the glass doors, looking furious.

Alex pushes him towards the side, squeezing his shoulder a little too tight before he moves to talk to the guards.

He doesn't actually give them time to say anything, before he's attacking.

He attacks the first guard, reaching for his semi-automatic rifle, one hand pushing the barrel up as he shoots, the spray of bullets hitting the ceiling, the other hand wrapping around the body of the rifle and then pulling and pushing so that the butt of the gun catches the guard right under the chin and sends him flying backwards as Alex pulls the rifle out of his hands, hitting the wall with a sickening thud.

All of this happens before the other two guards can really react, and then Alex is shooting at them.

He catches one of them several times in the chest and the guy goes down, but before he can get the other one, the last guard standing is rushing at him.

Alex moves backwards and snaps, "Guerin, move!"

Michael snaps out of the daze he's in and moves to undo his cuffs, as the guard slams Alex into the wall.

He lets the handcuffs fall to the floor and moves to Isobel's cell first. There is a keypad and Michael just quickly inputs the sequence that Alex told him to remember, and the door opens.

Isobel drops forward, and Michael catches her.

She feels cold to the touch as she hugs him tightly, wrapping her arms around his shoulders and burying her face in his neck, breathing deeply.

Michael hugs her back just as tight, and keeps his arms around her as he shuffles over to Max's cell.

Max is sitting up on the cot, and he's looking at them like he can't actually believe that they are real.

Michael inputs the sequence again and when the door opens, Isobel turns in his grip, and then she's rushing forward, a sob caught in the back of her throat as she drops to her knees in front of Max before she wraps her arms around his waist and buries her face in his chest.

Max wraps his arms around her carefully and then tighter, and then he's pressing his face to the top of her head.

Michael is about to tell them that they don't have time for a full reunion, when he feels something cold and metal pressing right against the back of his head.

"Step into the cell, now," an unfamiliar voice says, and Michael remembers that there was one guard still unaccounted for.

Michael moves to step forward, away from the gun, and wonders where Alex is.

The guard starts to speak, but he's cut off by a metallic swish, and then he makes a gurgling sound and when Michael turns it's to see him dropping the gun as he falls to the floor with his throat slit.

Alex is standing right behind him.

There is blood running down the side of his face, and staining the left corner of his mouth, and his hands are so red, they're practically dripping.

He drops the blade he used to slit the guard's throat to the floor when Michael's eyes drop to his hands, and he feels his vision tunnels until Alex speaks.

"We should go," he says and then turns around to head back the way that they came through.

Michael looks back to find Max and Isobel staring after Alex with unfathomable expressions on their faces.

Michael clears his throat, and they both turn to look at him at the same time, the look melting away from their faces. 

"Come on," he says in a low voice. "Let's get out of here."

Max and Isobel move slowly, but fast enough that Michael can keep an eye on Alex while still feeling them both at his back.

It doesn’t take them as long to get back out of the bunker, and Michael lets Max and Isobel go up the ladder before him, making sure that neither of them fall down.

Isobel is waiting for him at the top, and she holds her hand out for him to take, and he pretends to let her pull him up.

She smiles at him, and Michael squeezes their hands together, “Come on.”

He turns towards the car, tugging her along with him, feeling like they really need to get out of here before they get caught.

He’s halfway to the car, when Max moves too fast for him to warn Alex, who gets pushed once again against the side of the car.

Max pushes his arm beneath Alex’s neck, and Alex just looks at him impassively, not even fighting back.

“Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t just kill you right now?” Max asks in a hoarse voice.

Michael starts protesting immediately, stepping forward, but Isobel just holds on tighter to his hand, keeping him by her side.

“Because Michael would hate you forever,” he says, like it’s obvious, like he's completely secure in that knowledge. “But that’s besides the point, we have exactly five minutes to get out of here before they realize that something is wrong, and I’m the only one of us who is in any condition to drive.”

Michael wants to protest that, since Alex is still bleeding from the side of his face, but he feels dizzy all of a sudden, and sways, falling into Isobel.

“Michael,” Isobel asks, her voice hoarse as well and afraid.

Michael inhales deeply and shakes his head.

He looks over to the car to see Alex getting into the driver's seat while Max opens up the back door and waves them over.

Isobel drags Michael along, but Michael makes sure she gets into the car first, and Max pushes him into the car next, before sliding in next to him, and leaning into him to get the door closed.

Alex doesn't say anything as he starts the car and drives.

Max and Isobel wrap themselves around him, and Michael sinks into the embrace, closing his eyes and just enjoying the fact that they’re back together.

He’s distracted by having them close that he doesn’t realize that he’s freezing, until he coughs and tastes blood.

He looks up to the rearview mirror, and Alex just leans over towards the glove compartment, taking something out and then tossing it back towards Michael, all without stopping the car.

Michael catches the small vial full of the orange serum, and he takes it without even thinking about it.

Max makes a noise in protest, and Isobel tugs at his arm until he lowers it.

Michael looks from Isobel to Max and then back again, “Alex isn’t going to hurt me.”

Max gives him a highly skeptical look, while Isobel just looks at him in exasperation.

The good thing about it is that after a few minutes he can feel Isobel and Max along the edges of his consciousness.

He sighs, closing his eyes and pulls them closer, holding on tighter.

Michael doesn’t really realize how much time has passed until he feels the car slowing down.

He blinks his eyes open and sees that the sky is beginning to get dark and that they’re at Max’s house.

Max gets out of the car before Alex even turns the car off, and both Michael follows after him after Isobel begins to push him out instead of opening her own door.

They manage to get about halfway to the door before the front door is opening with a slam, and Liz is running out at full speed, followed by Kyle and then Maria and then Cameron, who moves at a much slower pace.

Michael manages to sidestep the group hug but just barely. Liz, Maria and Kyle manage to bring Max and Isobel to their knees, and they all just sit on the floor in a pile of limbs, talking over each other. Kyle’s voice can be heard over the rest of them, trying to verbally check them over, and trying to convince everyone to go back inside where the first aid kit is.

Cameron moves to stand next to Michael.

“How did you know that we would be coming here?” Michael asks.

Cameron gives him a look out of the corner of her eye. 

“Alex,” she responds. “We woke up like an hour ago. Everyone had a bitching headache and stuffy noses, and he left instructions for how to take care of that, and to meet him here. I thought it was another trap.”

She shrugs when Michael gives her an exasperated look. “And we were making plans on storming the Caulfield bunker ourselves when Liz noticed the car outside.”

Michael opens his mouth to tell her that Alex really did have everything planned out, and that he was right to trust him when he realizes that Alex isn’t around.

He looks back and is relieved when he finds the car still parked a couple of feet away, but the relief turns to worry when he sees that Alex is slumped forward, resting his head on top of the steering wheel.

He walks over to the car as fast as he can, trying not to run, and tries to think if Alex had been hurt in any way, but he doesn’t remember much after finding Max and Isobel.

He hears Cameron calling after him, but he ignores her and doesn’t even think twice about it when he reaches for the door handle.

The door opens, and Alex barely even moves, just turns his head to the side, facing Michael.

There’s more blood staining the corners of his mouth, and his eyelids flutter open and then close like he’s too tired to lift them.

Michael’s eyes dart all over him, trying to see if he can see what’s physically wrong with him, and his eyes stutter over the blood staining the bottom of the seat.

“Alex,” Michael says, hating that his voice sounds like he’s two seconds from losing it.

Alex flutters his eyes open and close and Michael wants to pull him out of the car to see where he’s bleeding from, but he doesn’t know if that’s going to make it worse or not.

Alex breathes in deeply, and the breath seems to stutter in his chest, and he coughs and blood stains his lips more red, eyes falling shut as he groans low in the back of his throat.

He moves, sitting up with a pained moan, and lifts his arm from where it was tucked between his stomach and his lap, and Michael sways, feeling dizzy and nauseous when he sees the blood soaking through the sleeves of Alex’s shirt, dripping drops of blood along the ground in front of Michael as he waves his bloody hand in the air.

“I’m fine,” he says, voice slurring, and Michael barely has a moment to brace himself, before he puts one foot out of the car, attempting to get out, and falls into Michael.

They both go crashing to the ground. Michael landing hard on his butt, with Alex landing on top of him, right between his legs. He wraps an arm low on Alex’s waist, as Alex wraps his bloody arm around Michael’s shoulders.

“Sorry,” he breathes, pressing his forehead heavily against Michael’s jaw. “I’m gonna just lie down for a second.”

Michael can feel how rapid his heart is beating and how he can feel the blood wetting his arm where it’s pressed low against Alex’s back. 

Michael wants to keep Alex close, but he needs to know where he’s hurt so he can fix it.

He can feel the others along the periphery of his consciousness, but all of Michael’s attention is on Alex.

He moves, getting out from underneath him, and lowers him carefully back down on the ground.

Alex whines low in the back of his throat, high pitched and in pain, and Michael wastes no time once he’s fully vertical.

He pushes his shirt up and he feels dizzy all over again.

Alex’s skin is slick with blood that’s pouring steadily out from a gash low in his stomach, and from the way the dirt starts to get wet beneath him tells Michael that either the wound goes all the way to his back or he got stabbed twice.

Michael stares at the wound, and he’s never healed anyone, not even a papercut on himself. He’s never wanted to have to deal with whatever negative energy he’d absorb, even if it was something minimal.

But he’s never had Alex bleeding out in front of him before.

Michael inhales deeply and places his hands over the wound, pressing down and closing his eyes tight.

Before he can do anything, he feels wet fingers wrapping around his wrist, and a low voice saying his name.

He turns towards Alex, to see that he’s staring at him from beneath heavy lids.

He breathes in deeply, “Guerin-” he says again, and something too low for Michael to hear.

He leans in a little closer, not moving his hand from Alex’s stomach.

“I’m right here,” he tells him. “And I’m going to save you, okay?”

Alex’s lips twitch, but he just swallows hard, and opens his eyes as wide as he can, staring right at Michael with a dazed expression, almost like he’s not really seeing him.

“You know,” he whispers, voice wet. “I always thought that we’d end up together.”

And then the fingers around Michael’s wrist go slack and fall to the ground, and Alex’s head lolls to the side, as his eyes fall shut, and he exhales, but doesn’t breathe back in.

Michael stares at him for what feels like an eternity, waiting for him to breathe in again, but he doesn’t. He _doesn’t_.

“Alex,” he says, his voice coming out small and scared, but Alex doesn’t respond.

He’s not moving at all.

“Alex,” he says again, voice louder, and he moves his hand from his stomach, to shake him, but then someone is wrapping their hands around his shoulders and pulling him back.

“Let me see what I can do,” Kyle’s voice says in his ear, sounding a little broken like he knows that there is nothing that he can do, like he knows that it’s too late, but Michael can’t accept that.

He pulls away from Kyle and reaches back to place his hands over Alex’s chest, right above his heart.

He inhales deeply and concentrates. It was much easier to master Max’s trick with static electricity than it was to master the healing one, so he doesn’t have to push too hard to make himself do it.

He pushes the sparks into Alex’s chest, and Alex’s entire chest jolts, but his heart doesn’t start beating. Michael does it again, groaning as pain sparks behind his eyelids, but he concentrates on Alex, and very nearly moans in relief when he feels his heart stutter to beat and then keep going.

“His heart is beating,” he tells Kyle, moving back to place his hands over his stomach. “Keep it that way.”

Michael doesn’t even have to look to see Kyle scrambling to start doing CPR on Alex, he doesn’t even pay attention to Isobel who he can feel dropping to her knees beside him, saying something in a low, pleading voice, but he just shakes her off, and presses his hands down on Alex’s stomach, ignoring the way touching the slick skin makes him feel, and he breathes in deeply and concentrates.

Max always said that he doesn’t know exactly how he does it. That sometimes it just clicks in his head, and he knows that he can do it.

And while Michael knows that he won’t be able to heal the damage completely, he knows that he might be able to heal him enough for Kyle to be able to do something about it.

He breathes out, and wills it to happen with all of his being, wanting nothing more than for Alex to be safe and whole and breathing and _alive_ , and just like Max said, it’s almost like something clicks deep inside of him, and he realizes that he knows exactly what he needs to do.

He inhales again and pushes, sending the sparks of energy from inside of him to stitch up Alex’s wound from the inside out.

He feels the pain split his head open in half, and he can’t help but yell, a loud, broken sound as the two car alarms start beeping, and then there are several low, shattering explosions as the light bulbs from the porch burst as they’re overloaded.

There is a low cracking sound, and then the car windows are bursting as the scream dies in Michael’s mouth.

Alex gasps a wretched airless thing, practically sitting up, but Kyle pushes him back down immediately.

Michael can feel him shaking as he breathes in too deep, and he moves his hands from Alex's stomach to see that the wound is still slightly bleeding, but he can tell that it’s not going straight through anymore.

He exhales and lets the dizzy feeling take him over, swaying to the side and back.

Someone catches him before he hits the ground, and Michael barely even hears anything or anyone.

His eyes flutter open, and he sees Kyle leaning over the wound, barking out orders, and he lets the ebbing darkness take him, knowing that Alex is in safe hands.

-

_One Week Later_

-

Alex is obviously not expecting to get home to Michael making pancakes in his kitchen when he gets home from the hospital, but Michael just pretends that there is nothing strange about this, and that he’s always in Alex’s kitchen making food.

And well, two weeks ago that would’ve been true, so it’s not entirely Michael’s fault that Alex missed that development.

Michael doesn’t stop what he’s doing as Alex walks carefully into the kitchen and then makes a noise like something finally makes sense.

Michael can hear him taking a seat on one of the stools at the island counter in the center of the kitchen. He makes a low hissing noise, which makes Michael want to turn around and check on him, but he just keeps his eyes on the pancake on the skillet, waiting for the perfect moment to flip it over.

“This is why Kyle didn’t put up much of a fight when I insisted on coming home. He knew that you were here, using my kitchen. Don’t you have a working one in the Airstream?”

Michael flips the pancake with and then lowers the spatula and throws Alex a quick look, not enough to take him in, but enough that Alex knows that he’s paying attention to him.

“I kind of moved in here while you were _away_ ,” Michael says, and Alex just exhales roughly.

“Is that what we’re calling it?” he asks, sounding somewhere between tired and annoyed.

Michael has enough batter to make two more pancakes, so he continues to cook.

Kyle had told everyone that between dying and waking up after a five day coma, Alex had gotten his memories back.

The only reason that Michael had managed to hold off from going searching for Alex was because up until an hour ago, Michael could still feel him.

The second that he stopped feeling the echo of whatever Alex was feeling, Michael had decided to wait for him here.

Even if Alex hadn’t gotten his memories back, they still needed to talk.

Alex lets him finish cooking, but he draws the line when Michael moves towards the sink to wash the dishes he’d just used.

“Guerin,” he says, voice trembling a little. “Would you just look at me?”

Michael drops the dishes into the sink, and then inhales deeply before he turns and looks at Alex.

He knows exactly what Alex is going to say before he even says it.

“Guerin,” he says again, and then closes his eyes, shaking his head once before he breathes in deeply and looks at Michael again.

“Michael,” he starts this time, and looks right at him as sincere as possible, pain barely disguised in his eyes. “I am so sorry.”

Michael can tell that the words are heartfelt and sincere, but he can also tell that Alex doesn’t think that the words are enough, that he blames himself fully for what happened, and that nothing that anyone, even Michael, says or does is going to change his mind.

Michael tried to get a headstart on stopping this from happening, but Alex is obviously not going to let him absolve him that easily.

“I already forgave you,” Michael answers, and Alex shakes his head immediately.

“Look,” Michael says, taking a step forward. “You weren’t _you_ okay? Once you realized you were on the wrong side you stopped trying to kill me.”

Alex gives him a disbelieving look, “I wasn’t me, but you still had sex with me.”

Michael shrugs a little helplessly, “Have you seen you?”

Alex just rolls his eyes shaking his head. “That’s not what I mean. Obviously some things were missing, but it was all me. That’s who I would’ve been if I hadn’t met you. Someone blindly following my father’s orders.”

“Exactly,” Michael says, and Alex’s brow furrows as he turns back to face Michael. Michael just keeps talking. “I’m not going to blame you for something that your father did to you too.”

Alex frowns at him, but he doesn’t say anything, so Michael keeps going. 

“He wanted you to feel guilty and to hate yourself,” he says and takes another step closer, so that he’s moving around the island. Alex tracks his movements warily.

“You told me he gave you specific instructions, obviously he had an agenda. Killing me was just a way for him to torture you later.”

Alex shakes his head a little, but he closes his eyes and licks his lips. “He told me to slit your throat, and to stare into your eyes as you died to make sure that the job was done.”

Michael had suspected that it had been something like that, but he hadn’t really expected it to be that explicit.

Michael inhales deeply and leans on the back of the stool right beside where Alex is sitting. “I know I said this before, but I really hate your dad.”

Alex stutters out a laugh, something small and bright and _real_ , and he looks at Michael like he can’t believe that Michael is standing right there in front of him, instead of as far away as possible.

Michael leans in closer, and Alex freezes eyes going wide, lips slightly parted.

“What are you doing?” he asks, and he looks exactly like how he did, crouched on the floor of Michael’s trailer, looking at Michael like he can’t believe that after everything that’s happened, Michael still wants to kiss him.

Michael just moves in closer, pushing into the space between the two stools and settling a hand on top of the counter, pressed up right against Alex's side.

Alex breathes in and his chest shakes with it.

"I know what you're going to say," Michael states, and Alex raises an eyebrow at him like he highly doubts it.

"You're going to tell me that we need to talk, that there are too many issues between us to just jump into this, that we need to deal with the guilt you feel for almost killing me and the issues I'm going to have with you holding a knife, that it's too soon, too late, not enough, far too much-" Michael cuts himself off, and Alex just stares at him with wide eyes, once again surprised by what Michael is saying.

"The point is that I don't care anymore," he continues. "I don't care about what excuses you have, and I definitely don't care about any of the excuses I was making. It was all bullshit anyway."

Alex sighs and shakes his head, and Michael reaches out and cups the side of his face, making Alex go completely still again.

Michael turns Alex's face so that he can look at him in the eyes, and Alex's eyes are closed tight.

"Look at me Alex," Michael asks, voice soft and pleading.

Alex's eyes flutter open immediately, and he looks at Michael like he doesn't want to be looking at anything else.

"I love you," he says, and Alex gasps, eyes going too wide. "I figured that's why it didn't work when I said it before. Because I've never actually said the words before."

Alex shakes his head a little, "You never had to. I always knew-"

"I know," Michael answers, cutting him off. "But sometimes things need to be said, and I love you."

Alex's eyes go wide again like he wasn't expecting Michael to say the words again.

"And I want you. I want us to be together, as in an actual relationship. No bullshit or casual friends with benefits arrangements. I want to be your boyfriend, and work my way up to being your husband."

Alex huffs out a disbelieving laugh, and he looks away from Michael shaking his head like he's sure that this isn't really happening.

"Alex," Michael says, and it's both a question and a demand.

Alex inhales deeply and then looks back at Michael, "You're serious about this."

Michael shrugs, "I've never been more serious about anything in my life."

Alex scoffs, and moves to pull away, but Michael lifts his other hand and traps Alex's face between his hands, keeping him there. 

Alex just breathes in carefully, and his eyes are bright with tears that he doesn't let fall.

"Guerin," he says, voice cracking. "Our problems aren't just going to go away because you love me and you want to be with me."

"I know that," Michael says, rolling his eyes a little and leaning. "I'm not saying that it's going to fix our problems. But I'd like to think that we can work through them better together than apart."

Alex just stares at him in disbelief, "I don't know what you want me to say."

Michael just shakes his head and leans forward, pressing his forehead to Alex's and sliding his hands to the back of Alex's neck.

"Just say that you love me too," Michael suggests.

"I love you," Alex says immediately, the words almost bursting out of his mouth.

Michael can't help the smile that spreads across his face.

"And now say that nothing in the world will make you happier than being my boyfriend," Michael says.

"Nothing in the world would make me happier than to be your boyfriend," Alex says dutifully, a smile tugging at the corners of his lips, and Michael's smile goes even wider and brighter.

"Now say that I'm the best that you've ever had, " Michael says next, leering a little bit.

Alex makes a face like he has to think about it.

"Actually-" he starts and Michael scoffs and slides his hands down to his chest to push him backwards.

Alex very nearly slides off the stool, only saved by the fact that he grabs onto Michael's shoulders and pulls himself close.

Michael makes a face and Alex just laughs before he leans in, close.

"Hmmm, I would say that, but we don't need your ego to get any bigger."

Michael leers, and opens his mouth to speak, when Alex leans in and kisses him, pressing their lips together a bit too hard.

Michael forgets trying to speak in favor of cupping Alex's face in his hands and deepening the kiss.

Alex makes a low sound, and he pulls away from Michael, inhaling deeply so that he can speak.

"No one is going to be happy with this," he says, meaning their friends and family.

Michael just looks into Alex's eyes, the way he seems to be just a little apprehensive, and he just pushes in close, dragging their noses together.

"Fuck 'em," he whispers as firmly as he can, pressed right against Alex's lips and then he seals the words with a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> i plotted this fic like months ago, and only got around to writing it now, just so y'all have an idea about my process, THANK YOU FOR READING 🖤🖤🖤 and if you didn't get here from tumblr, you can always come and yell at me about how much michael and alex love each other right [HERE](https://iwontbeyourmedicine.tumblr.com/)


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